Pesantren, Gender, Interfaith, and Sosial Discourse

Perempuanku dan tubuhmu

2011-02-21T09:19:00.001-08:00

Awal bulan lalu, tepatnya tanggal 1-3 Oktober, aku mendapat kesempatan untuk mengikuti training tentang Seksualitas dan Gender yang diadakan oleh Yayasan Rahima, tempatnya di Wisma Hijau, Jakarta. Ibu Ninuk yang merupakan konsultan WHO dan Mbak Nur Rofiah yang merupakan dosen di UIN Jakarta, PTIQ dan salah satu pengurus di PB Fatayat yang menjadi keyspeakernya. Acara ini dihadiri oleh beberapa Ibu Nyai dari berbagai daerah.

Terus terang pelatihan seperti ini bukan yang pertama kali aku ikuti, namun pelatihan kemarin benar-benar luar biasa bagiku. Materi tentang kesehatan reproduksi benar-benar menyita perhatianku, pematerinya juga luar biasa. Sempat beberapa kali aku terkaget-kaget ketika Ibu Ninuk dan Mbak Rofiah menerangkan tentang Kespro. Aku merasa bukan orang yang jauh dengan akses informasi, tapi ternyata banyak hal yang tidak aku ketahui tentang kespro. Lalu aku berpikir, bagaimana dengan ibu-ibu di desa yang mereka sama sekali tidak memiliki akses informasi?

Dengan berbekal pelajaran yang minim dari pelatihan tersebut, dan alat peraga yang berupa Penis, Vagina dan celemek yang tiap sisinya ada gambar detailnya alat reproduksi perempuan dan laki-laki aku mencoba menularkan pengetahuan yang sedikit ini kepada orang-orang didekatku, dengan jalan sebagai Pendidik Sebaya (PS). Selepas dari acara pelatihan itu aku menginap di kost temenku di daerah Salemba. Kebetulan temenku tinggal berdua dengan temannya yang sama-sama masih gadis. Malam itu aku mencoba menerangkan tentang kespro pada mereka. dari penjelasan yang sederhana itu berlanjut menjadi diskusi yang menarik. Banyak hal yang cukup mengagetkanku, salah satunya pengakuan temanku tentang ketakutannya membayangkan malam pertama. Saat itu pikiranku langsung kembali pada ingatan tentang MP (malam pertama) ku dulu. Aku dulu juga sangat ketakutan, disamping karena aku menikah dalam usia yang cukup muda, juga karena tidak ada pengetahuan sama sekali tentang seks yang aku terima. Bahkan saat itu tak ada satu orangpun yang menerangkan bagaimana hubungan badan dan bagaimana untuk melakukan KB. Orang tua sering kali berpikir bahwa hal tersebut tabu untuk dibicarakan dan sifatnya otodidak. Padahal pengetahuan kespro penting artinya bagi orang yang hendak menikah.

Acara PS ku berlanjut ke sahabat-sahabat Fatayat di Anak Cabang Tegalsari yang bertempat di ranting Karangdoro. Ada sekitar 30 orang ibu-ibu yang datang. Acara ini merupakan rutinan yang diadakan setiap sebulan sekali oleh Fatayat. Saat aku membuka diskusi tentang kespro dan mulai mengeluarkan alat perga satu persatu reaksi pertama yang muncul adalah jeritan dan tertawa cekikikan. Mungkin mereka geli dan malu. Karena mereka selama ini tidak pernah mendiskusikan hal ini, jadi perasaan risih pasti ada. Aku mencoab menerangkan dari hal-hal yang simple. Pertama tentang nama-nama organ tubuh laki-laki dan perempuan. Selama ini di masyarakat kita telah terjadi kesalahan yang dianggap lumrah dalma penyebutan alat kelamin manusia. Biasanya untuk laki-laki kita menyebut dengan nama Burung atau titit, kalau perempuan disebut memek atau popok. Penyebutan tersebut jelas berimplikasi terhadap asumsi anak. Pasti anak akan mikir, kenapa ya punyaku kok disebut burung? apa emang bisa terbang?. Untuk itu aku mencoba menekankan tentang pentingnya penyebutan alat kelamin dengan benar yakni Penis dan Vagina.

Penjelasanku berlanjut ke masalah proses terjadinya menstruasi, proses kehamilan, lalu ke persoalan alat kontrasepsi (KB). Seperti halnya aku sebelum pelatihan, Ibu-ibu yang datang juga tidak mengetahui proses dan efek samping dari memakai KB. Contoh, ibu-ibu tidak tahu kalau KB hormonal (pil, suntik, susuk/implan) bisa menurunkan libido, dan alasan kenapa perempuan yang memakai KB hormonal tidak mendapatkan menstruasi. Hal ini sebagai bukti bahwa informasi yang diterima oleh perempuan tentang KB sangat minim, padahal selama ini perempuanlah yang menjadi objek untuk KB, tapi mereka tidak tahu efek samping dari barang yang menempel dalam tubuhnya. Menyedihkan.

Diskusi siang itu semakin hangat ketika mulai memasuki tahap tentang hubungan badan. Aku sempat benar-benar terdiam beberapa saat ketika sahabat-sahabat Fatayat tersebut tidak tahu kalau perempuanpun bisa mendapatkan ejakulasi seperti laki-laki. Ketika aku terangkan apa itu ejakulasi dan bagaimana proses ejakulasi pada perempuan, eh ada yang bilang "Halah mbak, lawong biasanya orang laki-laki itu cuman usrek-usrek terus keluar terus ngorok tidur." Waduh....... selama ini mungkin seks hanya dianggap sebagai hak laki-laki dan kewajiban bagi perempuan, hingga keseimbangan dalam berhubungan badan tidak tercapai. Bahkan seorang teman saya yang berasal dari keluarga terpelajar menganggap bila ejakulasi pada perempuan hingga mengeluarkan cairan itu adalah air kencing, sampe-sampe dia sangat tertekan setiap kali keluar cairan saat ejact, karena dia mengaggap itu adalah air kencing. DUh perempuanku, betapa selama ini tubuhmu hanya diexplore saja tanpa kamu sendiri mengetahui apapiun tentang tubuhmu.

Diskusi saat itu aku akhiri dengan memberikan nomor HP ku kepada sahabat-sahabat Fatayat. Aku yakin dari sekian banyak pertanyaan yang masuk pasti masih lebih banyak pertanyaan yang tidak tersampaikan, alasan malu dan sungkan pasti menjadi alasannya, untuk itu dengan memberikan nomor HP kepada mereka, aku berharap mereka bisa menghubungiku secara pribadi bila ingin berdiskusi. dan ternyata benar, beberapa jam setelah acara tersbeut selesai, banyak sms yang masuk yang menanyakan banyak hal tentang Kespro. Jujur masih banyak pertanyaan yang belum bisa aku jawab, aku mencoba mencari jawabannya dengan searching di internet dan bertanya ke beberapa orang.

Ibu Ninuk pernah bercerita bila di Iran pasangan yang akan menikah akan mendapatkan training tentang kespro, biasanya forum laki-laki dan perempuan dipisahkan. Mereka juga diharuskan memeriksakan kesehatan reproduksianya sebelum menikah. Bila ada penyakit, mereka harus mengobatinya sebelum akhirnya mereka memutuskan untuk memiliki anak. Dan dampak dari hal ini luar biasa sekali, kematian Ibu melahirkan di Iran hanya hitungan puluhan dari seratus ribu kelahiran. Bayangkan di Indonesia yang masih mencapai ratusan.

Terinspirasi dari cerita ibu Ninuk tersebut, aku mengundang para santri senior putri di pondok pesantren Darussalam, Blokagung, Banyuwangi untuk aku ajak diskusi tentang Kespro. Mereka antusias, dan menganggap diskusi ini bukan hal tabu tapi sesuatu yang penting, bahkan mereka mengusulkan agar aku melakukan diskusi tentang kespro kepada santri senior putra juga. Karena mereka belum menikah jadi pertanyaan-pertanyaan mereka masih belum bersifat pragmatis seperti halnya ketika berdiskusi dengan Ibu-Ibu di fatayat, namun begitu aku yakin mereka pasti memiliki pandangan yang lebih mendalam tentang tubuh mereka sebelum menikah menikah. Aku juga memberikan nomor HP kepada mereka, aku yakin nanti ketika mereka menikah pasti akan menemukan berbagai permasalahan, dan aku menyediakan diri sebagai tempat bertanya bagi mereka.

Setelah melakukan diskusi di dua forum yang sifatnya masal tersebut aku menyebarkan angket refleksi atas materi kespro yang aku sampaikan, dan juga aku bertanya tentang hal-hal apa aja yang mereka ingin ketahui lebih lanjut. Aku kaget sekali, dari kelompok ibu-ibu banyak yang ingin tahu lebih lanjut tentang bagaimana menikmati hubungan seksual. Di satu sisi aku gembira karena ini menunjukkan mereka mulai sadar kalau mereka punya hak yang sama tentang kenikmatan dalam berhubungan seks, tapi disisi lain ini sebagai bukti kalau selama ini banyak dari mereka yang belum enjoy dalam berhubungan seks. Sedangkan untuk kelompok yang belum menikah, banyak dari mereka yang ingin tahu tentang KB.

Hemm... perempuanku... masih banyak yang harus kita pelajari dan kita bagi dengan sesama perempuan di sekitar kita. Bila kita sesama perempuan tidak perduli dengan Kesehatan Reproduksi kita, lalu siapa yang akan perduli pada perempuan???...

MARI BERBAGI PEREMPUANKU....

2010-12-03T08:41:00.000-08:00

really miss my blog...

Menggagas Tafsir Moderat

2010-09-26T20:56:00.000-07:00

Dr Sahiron Syamsuddin
(Dosen UIN Sunan Kalijaga Yogyakarta)

Akhir-akhir ini di belahan Dunia Islam, termasuk Indonesia, muncul kecenderungan sebagian umat Islam untuk menafsirkan teks-teks keagamaan (Alquran dan hadis) secara literal.

Ada beberapa faktor yang menyebabkan munculnya fenomena ini, di antaranya adalah berikut ini. Pertama, pemahaman dan penafsiran muncul sebagai antitesis terhadap modernitas. Sebagian umat Islam memandang bahwa modernitas cenderung lebih mementingkan aspek-aspek materialistik dan duniawi, serta meninggalkan aspek spiritual. Klimaks dari perasaan dan pandangan tersebut adalah bahwa mereka kembali ke teks-teks keagamaan yang dapat mengisi kebutuhan spiritual mereka. Kedua, dalam kondisi psikologis semacam itu, mereka ingin mendapatkan pencerahan dari agama secara instan. Mereka ingin mendapatkan tuntunan dari Alquran dan hadis secepat mungkin.

Sebagai konsekuensinya, mereka mempelajari dan mengkaji kedua sumber utama tersebut dari terjemahan yang tentunya lebih menekankan makna literal. Konteks tekstual (yang komprehensif) dan konteks historis pun tidak mereka perhatikan secara seksama. Mereka tidak mau susah-susah untuk mendapatkan informasi-informasi di sekitar atau yang berkenaan dengan teks-teks keagamaan, karena untuk mengaksesnya dibutuhkan kemampuan ekstra, seperti penguasaan bahasa Arab, kaidah-kaidah tafsir (ushulut tafsir), ushul fikih, dan lain-lain, dan hal ini memerlukan waktu yang cukup lama, tidak instan. Ketiga, pemahaman literal juga, dalam beberapa kasus, disebabkan oleh faktor emosional tertentu. Karena kebencian dan kemarahan, misalnya, kepada sebuah negara, gerakan dan aliran tertentu, sebagian umat Islam lalu menjustifikasinya dengan ayat-ayat Alquran dan hadis tertentu dengan pemahaman yang literal dan apa adanya, meskipun sebenarnya ayat dan atau hadis itu tidak berkaitan sama sekali dengan masalah yang mereka sedang dihadapi.

Pemahaman dan penafsiran literal bukan tidak bermasalah. Problem-problem yang muncul dari bentuk penfasiran tersebut adalah sebagai berikut. Pertama, ayat-ayat Alquran dan hadis dipahami dengan tidak komprehensif, tidak utuh, dan tentunya sepenggal-sepenggal. Munasabat al-ayat (keterkaitan antarayat) dan munasabat al-ahadis (keterkaitan antarhadis) tidak diperhatikan dengan baik. Hal ini bisa menyebabkan terjadinya 'kesalahpahaman' (misunderstanding) yang seharusnya dihindari dalam proses pemahaman dan penafsiran. Kedua, pemahaman semacam ini bisa menyebabkan sebagian umat Islam menjadi 'ekstrem' dan eksklusif, hanya memandang penafsiran mereka sajalah yang benar.

Padahal, kita tahu bahwa keberagaman/pluralitas penafsiran terhadap sebuah ayat atau hadis tertentu mesti ada, bahkan sejak zaman awal-awal Islam. Sikap toleransi terhadap orang yang berbeda penafsiran terkikis dengan sendirinya. Ketiga, agama Islam terkesan garang, kejam, violent (penuh kekerasan), dan tidak humanis. Padahal, kita yakin Islam diturunkan sebagai rahmat bagi umat manusia. Hal ini tentunya menodai citra Islam sendiri di mata masyarakat.

Melihat problem-problem tersebut di atas, penulis berpendapat bahwa kita perlu menciptakan model 'penafsiran moderat' (at-tafsir/at-ta'wil al-mutawazin al-muta'adil) terhadap teks-teks keagamaan. Prinsip-prinsip tafsir semacam ini adalah (1) memperhatikan secara seksama aspek bahasa dan konteks historis, seperti asbabun nuzul dan asbabul wurud, (2) memberikan posisi yang seimbang terhadap makna tersurat dan makna tersirat (ma'na dan maghza), (3) memperhatikan secara seimbang masa lalu (tradition) dan masa kini (modernitas), (4) mempertimbangkan aspek universal (universality) dan lokalitas (locality) teks keagamaan, dan (5) berpandangan bahwa hasil penafsirannya berada dalam batas kemampuan manusia, sehingga tetap bernuansa 'kebenaran relatif' (bukan kebenaran absolut), tidak mengklaim penafsirannya sebagai satu-satu penafsiran yang paling 'benar'. Pertanyaannya: Model penafsiran yang seperti apa yang memperhatikan kelima prinsip tersebut di atas?

Model 'penafsiran moderat' yang didasarkan pada kelima prinsip tersebut adalah apa yang bisa kita sebut dengan 'penafsiran ma'na-cum-maghza', yakni penafsiran yang berusaha menemukan makna asal (al-ma'na al-ashli) teks Alquran dan hadis dengan memperhatikan data-data sejarah dan linguistik (bahasa dan sastra) pada masa penurunan wahyu, sehingga mampu memahami spirit/makna terdalam dari teks-teks tersebut, dan kemudian melakukan penyesuaian terhadap makna terdalam itu dengan perdaban dan semangat hidup kontemporer/masa kini (maghza). Model penafsiran ini pernah digagas oleh, misalnya, Fazlurrahman dengan konsepnya double movement ('gerakan ganda') (Rahman: 5-7), Muhammad Talbi dengan konsepnya al-tafsir al-maqashidi (tafsir yang menekankan maqashid syar'iyyah) (Talbi 1992: 142-144) dan Nashr Hamid Abu Zayd dengan konsepnya al-tafsir al-siyaqi (tafsir kontekstual) (Abu Zayd 1995: 116).

Para sarjana tersebut memandang makna asal (bersifat historis) hanya sebagai pijakan awal bagi pembacaan Alquran dan hadis di masa kini; makna asal dan literal tidak mesti dipandang sebagai pesan utama. Menurut mereka, penafsir harus juga berusaha memahami makna di balik makna literal, yang disebut oleh Rahman dengan ratio legis.

SUMBER

UNESCO/JapanYoung Researchers' Fellowship Program

2010-09-26T20:52:00.000-07:00

With the aim of supporting innovative and imaginative post-graduate research in areas of environment (with particular attention to water sciences), intercultural dialogue, information and communication technologies and peaceful conflict resolution, UNESCO is offering the UNESCO/Japan Young Researchers’ Fellowships Programme. The Programme is funded under a Japanese Funds-in-Trust for the capacity-building of Human Resources will aim, in particular, to impact on capacity-building and research activities in the areas mentioned above.

Eligibility
Applicants, a maximum of TWO from each applying National Commission, must meet the following general criteria:
1. Candidates under this Programme must be post-graduate researchers, already holding either an M.A. or M.Sc. degree (or equivalent) and wishing to pursue research work abroad (preferably in their own region) with a view to enhancing knowledge in one of the four specific fields mentioned in paragraph D.1 below. Thus, those who are in the process of completing their Master’s degree must have completed it PRIOR to taking up their Fellowship.

2. Candidates must be persons of high intellectual promise who may be expected to make significant contributions to their country on return.

3. Candidates must be no more than 40 years of age. Thus, applicants born before 1 January 1971 will not be considered under the Programme.

4. The selected Fellow must carry out the research under the auspices of an academic supervisor in a host institution. Confirmation of acceptance from the academic supervisor is imperative.

5. Priority attention will be given to:
• Women
• Candidates from least developed countries (LDCs)
• Palestinian researchers
6. Candidates must be proficient in reading and writing the language of instruction in the proposed country of study/research.

7. Applicants must be in good health, both physically and mentally.

The deadline to submit applications is 7 January 2011. For more information, visit this link :
http://portal.unesco.org/en/ev.php-URL_ID=14635&URL_DO=DO_TOPIC&URL_SECTION=201.html

Asian Graduate Student Fellowships 2011

2010-09-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

The Asia Research Institute of NUS invites applications from citizens of Asian countries enrolled for a fulltime advanced degree at a university in an Asian country (except Singapore) for consideration for the award of Asian Graduate Student Fellowships. These fellowships are offered to current graduate students doing their Master’s or PhD degrees and working in the Humanities and Social Sciences on Southeast Asian topics, and will allow the recipients to be based at NUS for an ‘in residence fellowship’ for a period of three months. The aim of the fellowship is to enable scholars to make full use of the wide range of resources held in the libraries of NUS and the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies. Scholars will be expected to commence on 3 May 2011, and to make a presentation on their work at the Singapore Graduate Forum on Southeast Asian Studies at the end of July 2011.

Successful candidates can expect the following benefits:
1) A monthly allowance of SGD1,000.
2) A monthly housing allowance of SGD250.
3) A settling-in allowance of SGD150.
4) A sum of $100 on a reimbursement basis for miscellaneous expenses
5) A one-time round trip travel subsidy by the most economical and direct route on a reimbursement basis upon being accepted for the fellowship.
6) Access to library and computer resources on campus.

Applicants are invited to e-mail/facsimile/mail their application forms (CLICK HERE), a 2-page outline of their research proposal in English (this may be accompanied by a longer statement in a Southeast Asian language) to the address below by 15 November 2010. Arrangements should also be made by which at least two letters of reference, one of which is from your principal supervisor, are sent confidentially to the same address by the same deadline.
The 2-page research proposal must include the following details:
1) Whether the data collection or fieldwork stage of the research has already been completed;
2) how the fellowship will contribute to the research;
3) the types of sources to be consulted in Singapore;
4) proposed work plan during the fellowship.
You can look forward to excellent library and internet computer facilities at NUS’ main library (http://www.lib.nus.edu.sg/), the library at the Institute of Southeast Asian Studies (ISEAS) (http://www.iseas.edu.sg/library.html) and the Lee Kong Chian Reference Library at the National Library (http://www.nlb.gov.sg/) to facilitate your research for the dissertation. NUS’ main library has 2 million volumes covering all topics while ISEAS’ library has 200,000 on Southeast Asian topics, half of which are in Southeast Asian languages.

Selvi
Asia Research Institute
NUS Bukit Timah Campus
469A Tower Block #10-01
Bukit Timah Road, Singapore 259770
E-mail : arikk@nus.edu.sg
Fax: 65 67791428
Website: http://www.ari.nus.edu.sg/

LOWONGAN : Recruitment of English Language Teacher-Trainers

2010-09-26T20:45:00.000-07:00

The British Council is seeking to recruit qualified and experienced English language teacher-trainers for our English teaching and teacher-training activities in 2011. The British Council is committed to supporting the development of English teachers throughout Indonesia, and is working closely with the Ministry of National Education and the Ministry of Religious Affairs to build capacity in the English teaching sector.

The successful applicants will become British Council Teacher-Trainers, and will conduct training on behalf of the British Council in the province in which they live. This is not a full-time post. Teacher-Trainers will be expected to conduct training for up to three days per month, and will be paid a very competitive daily rate. Teacher-Trainers who are currently employed by schools, universities, or training institutions will therefore need the permission of their employer to spend up to three days per month conducting training for the British Council. Teacher-Trainers will also be offered the opportunity for annual training and professional development through the British Council.

The British Council therefore seeks applications from experienced English language teacher-trainers. Ideal candidates will have:

Aim of teacher-trainer role: To prepare and deliver training in the teaching of English language in order to develop the teaching skills of our trainees. To enhance the British Council's reputation as a foremost ELT training provider, in the areas of primary and / or secondary level education.

Duties and standards
1) To plan, prepare and deliver training courses, workshops and talks to English teachers and /or other ELT practitioners (eg. Teacher-trainers, ELT specialists, supervisors) in the state system and / or private sector.

* Training sessions are well-prepared and managed in accordance with the needs of the trainees. This can be demonstrated through trainee / stakeholder feedback and observation.

* Sessions delivered are well-researched and reflect current thinking in ELT and effective use is made of current materials and technology (if available) to achieve session aims. Materials are adapted and supplemented to trainees' needs.

* Through their professionalism and credibility, trainers and the materials they use enhance British Council's reputation as a foremost ELT training provider.This can be demonstrated through trainee / stakeholder feedback and observation.

* No complaints from trainees or stakeholders.

2) To monitor and give feedback to trainees / stakeholders online or in hard copy if required. To mark all written work and provide written feedback and reports if required.

* Reflective journals, homework tasks and portfolios are returned within a negotiated timeframe.

3) To prepare, develop and evaluate training materials for courses and workshops, adapting where necessary.

* Session material reflects current thinking re. ELT methodology and training needs of target audience.
* Copyright laws are fully observed (CSS).

Person specifications
4) High proficiency in English.

5) Proven track record in teacher training.

6) Subject knowledge:

* Shares subject knowledge and classroom application with others in training sessions, through individual coaching and positive interaction with group.

* Displays a high level of sensitivity, creativity and skill in providing accurate and appropriate information about concepts / skills / language with specific learning outcomes in mind.

7) Evaluation and assessment of learning:

* Assesses individual students' needs and uses this assessment to set realistic goals for the group.

* Selects, adapts and creates valid tests and other forms of informal assessment for learners and evaluates and interprets outcomes appropriately
* Gives accurate and useful feedback to learners on their performance.
* Encourages and develops learner self-assessment through a range of activities.
* Shares insights and knowledge with others.

8) Ability to use IT to write or adapt course materials (if required) and for training purposes.

Please send a CV, with a covering letter in English explaining why you are appropriate for this position to the following email address:

access.english@britishcouncil.or.id

Closing date for applications:
* Candidates from Aceh: 25 September 2010
* Candidates from other provinces: 07 October 2010.

For further enquiries, please contact: Lenggo.geni@britishcouncil.or.id

Perjodohan

2010-09-26T17:39:00.000-07:00

Ada Pertanyaan masuk ke emailku:

mbak aku minta tolong, temenku mau dijodohin and disuruh menikah ama orang tuanya tapi dia gak siap dan begitu gitu suka atau kenal ama calon suaminya.Dia nolak tapi ortunya marah, dan tidak mau peduli. Aku tidak bisa ngasik masukan karena tidak tau mesti bantu gimna. pie yo mbak?? aq rasa sampean bisa ngasik masukan yang lebih baik. help, kasihan dia

Lalu Aku Jawab :

begini, aku akan mencoba menganalisis dari 2 sisi, sisi sang anak dan sisi orang tua. Kebetulan penelitianku tentang arranged marriages (perjodohan) ini:

Ada beberapa hal yang menjadi alasan orang tua melakukan perjodohan:
1. Ingin mememnuhi tanggung jawab sebagai orang tua yang harus menghantarkan anak-anaknya ke jenjang pernikahan
2. Memastikan anaknya mendapat jodoh yang selevel dalam segi agama, sosial, dan ekonomi
3. Orang tua ingin mendapat keuntungan dari rencana perjodohan ini, ya keuntungan itu bisa berupa materi, sosial status atau lainnya.
4. Orang tua merasa lebih punya pengalaman dalam hal rumah tangga jadi wajar ingin mengarahkan anak.
5. Kacamata yang dipakai orang tua biasanya lebih komplek dari pada kacamata kita. Kalau kita sering kali memikirkan hanya dari segi fisik, contoh, cakep, kaya, pinter, kalau orang tua kadang berpikir hal yang lebih rumit, seperti apakah keluarga dia dan keluarga calon besan bisa nyambung? bagaimana kehidupan mendatang anaknya setelah menikah? dsb

Dari sisi anak:
A. Bila menolak
1. Sudah punya calon sendiri
2. Merasa calonya tidak kriterianya
3. Tidak mengenal calonnya

B. Menerima
1. Ingin tawaduk ke orang tua
2. Merasa calon ortunya adalah lebih baik dari pilihan dia
3. tidak punya calon sendiri
4. pressure dari masyarakat dan keluarga untuk segera menikah

Dalam islam ada istilah Ijbar, yang banyak diartikan bahwa wali (ayah atau kakek) bisa menikahkan anak perempuannya yang masih perawan. hal ini yang sering dijadikan alasan ortu untuk memaksakan kehendaknya kepada anak, bahkan anak akan dihukum bila menolak. Padahal Ijbar disini menurut kanjeng nabi adalah DIskusi, bukan pemaksaan. Dalam artian diskusi antara anak dan orang tua lebih diutamakana dari pada pemaksaaan kehendak dari satu pihak.

Ada cerita, seorang sahabat perempuan Nabi yang bernama al-Khansa lapor ke nabi bahwa dia telah dinikahkan oleh ayahnya dengan sepupunya dengan tanpa minta persetujuan dari al-khansa., jadi ayah al-khansa menikahkan dia tanpa minta persetujuan/berdiskusi dengan al khansa etrlebih dahulu. Mendengar laporan itu Nabi Muhammad langsung membatalakan pernikahan al-khansa. Waktu itu al-khansa bilang "sebenarnya sayua bisa saja menerima pernikahan ini, dengan tindakan ini saya hanya ingin menunjukkan bahwa orang tua tidak boleh memaksakan kehendaknya kepada anak."

Untuk kasus temanmu aku tidak tahu posisi dan alasan masing2 pihak, jadi aku gak bisa memberi komentar banyak. Nurut aku diskusi kedua belah pihak harus lebih dikedepankan.

Oya, Ijbar hanya boleh dilakukan bila tidak ada permusuhan anatara ortu dan anak.

salam

Lowongan Konsultan

2010-09-26T17:25:00.000-07:00

Call for Proposal on Early Marriage Research Consultancy-Plan Indonesia

Plan Indonesia is an international child-centered humanitarian and community development organization promoting the rights and the best interest of children. Plan’s vision is of a world in which all children realize their full potential in societies that respect people's rights and dignity. Plan works to achieve lasting improvements for children living in poverty in developing countries, through a process that unites people across cultures and adds meaning and value to their lives.

Plan Indonesia is seeking for consultant to conduct early marriage research. The principal purpose of this study is to examine sociocultural and economic causes, extent and consequences of early marriage in Indonesia. The study is designed to achieve several goals. First, it will capture the national trend on early marriage as much as the quantitative data as possible. Second, the study will highlight the existing legal aspects in dealing with early marriage as well as the major actors involved. Third, the study will be more contexts specific in Plan districts which have high prevalence of early marriage. In the context specific study, the focus will be to identify the knowledge and understanding of the different stakeholders toward early marriage as well as to analyze the cause and impact of early marriage. It will also identify the existing mechanism in the district level in dealing with early marriage. The study will combine of qualitative
and quantitative methods. The quantitative baseline study will be conducted in 6 districts of Plan working areas that are Districts of Rembang and Grobogan ( Central Java ) , Soe, Sikka and Lembata (East Nusa Tenggara) and Dompu (West Nusa Tenggara). While, the in-depth study will be conducted in 4 districts as mentioned above, excluding Lembata and Grobogan.

This opportunity is open both for Consulting Firms and Individual Consultants. Deadline for submission is September 30th, 2010, and all documentation/materials should be written in English. Only shortlisted candidates will be contacted. To have the complete of Research TOR please contact to Bekti.Andari@plan-international.org and cc-ed to supriyono@plan-international.org

Thank you for your attention.

Bekti Andari
Gender Specialist

Plan Indonesia
Menara Duta Building 2th Floor
Jalan H.R. Rasuna Said Kav. B-9 Kuningan
Jakarta Selatan-12910, Indonesia
www.plan-international.org
P :+62-21-5229566
F :+62-21-5229571
Email : Bekti.Andari@plan-international.org

Religious Studies in Islamic Institutes

2010-09-26T10:50:00.000-07:00

The policy well-known as link-and-match in the national system of education, since it was first applied in the 1990s, has vastly inspired and prompted many high schools and higher learning institutions to set the programs of study that match and have direct links with demand in the job market.

It is therefore easy to understand, why at present most parents prefer to send their children to universities and colleges that offer a better possibility of employment afterwards, as the educational institutions promise students applicable and relevant expertise.

Islamic studies are not able to offer dream jobs for the graduates. Just look at the UIN/IAIN/STAIN (Islamic State University/Institute of Islamic Studies). These institutes often find difficulties in recruiting students.

Of five fields of Islamic sciences taught at those institute Syari'ah (Islamic law) Tarbiyah (education), Ushuluddin (fundamental of religion), Dakwah (religious propagation, and Adab (literature), the departments of Ushuluddin, Dakwah and Adab are increasingly enduring year-to-year low enrollment of freshmen.

What follows seems even more discouraging. The attempts of several Institutes of Islamic Studies (IAIN/STAIN) to transform their institute status into university level, for instance, IAIN Syarif Hidayatullah then becoming Universitas Islam Negeri Syarif Hidayatullah (Islamic State University), IAIN Sunan Kalijaga becoming UIN Sunan Kalijaga, and STAIN Malang becoming UIN Maulana Malik Ibrahim, are not very helpful to attracting more students.

Amid this academic predicament, meticulous but creative outlooks and solutions are absolutely needed in order to boost the academic appeal of Islamic studies and to figure out the imperative role that the field may play in the future. Islamic studies are different from religious studies. The latter is broader than the former in terms of the scope of study, methodology, and epistemological assumptions.

Islamic studies mainly deal with and put emphasis exclusively on one specific religion that is Islam and all its dimensions, whereas religious studies, known too as religionwissenschaft, embrace and focus on all religions in general and also absorb and apply a variety of disciplines and approaches that belong to philosophy and social sciences.

Religious studies began to be installed into the system of curriculum of IAIN in the early 1970s. The late Harun Nasution and Mukti Ali played a historic role in introducing the subject at IAIN Syarif Hidayatullah and IAIN Sunan Kalijaga during their tenure as the rectors of the respective institutions.

Islamic state institutes' stakeholders seemed to have realized from the outset that religious studies are very helpful in enhancing Islamic studies' framework. No doubt, it is to religious studies that Islamic studies owe contemporary approaches and methodologies, through which the latter became able to unravel and decipher religious issues in the more open-minded ways of thinking. Religious studies bring about fundamental principles such as respect for humanity, inclusive religiosity, pluralism and tolerance.

In its June 29, 2009, newsletter, Muhammad Ali Al-Hazaa, the head of the University of Jazan in Saudi Arabia, a newly established higher learning institution, pointed out that Saudi no longer needs graduates in (Islamic) religious studies, in view of the country's job market being saturated with graduates in the field, on the one hand and the rising trend of extremist movements, which have in fact been supplied by those who graduated from Islamic studies department. Meanwhile, universities are more reluctant to open the faculty of Islamic studies.

Indeed concern over Islamic studies' vulnerability to being sources of religious extremism, as Al-Hazaa alluded to, cannot be thwarted unless the stakeholders of Islamic learning institutions, be it universities, institutes, pesantren (Islamic boarding school) and madrassa, show the openness to integrate Islamic studies with contemporary approaches and analysis in religious studies that highly respect the principles of inclusive religiosity, multiculturalism, religious pluralism and diversity, toleration, and so forth.

With regard to the field of religious studies that has over three decades been thought in Islamic states institutes/universities, it has so far been indubitably making tremendous contribution to promoting not only discourses but also actions that favor interfaith dialogues, respect for religious pluralism and inclusivism, and upholding of justice, equality, harmony and tolerance among people of different faiths. Not to mention an enormous number of religiously open-minded graduates.
Related to that, for instance, the existence of the Center for Religious and Cultural Studies (CRCS) for Masters' degree and the Indonesian Consortium for Religious Studies (ICRS) for doctoral level, with English used as the only medium of teaching, jointly founded some years ago by three prominent universities in Jogjakarta (the University of Gadjah Mada, the Islamic State University of Sunan Kalijaga and the Christian University of Duta Wacana), is to be seen to some extent as offshoot of the long dedication Islamic state institutes/universities gave to flourishing religious studies in its more generic meaning, which refers not only to one but all religions on the whole.

In addition, despite the recently gloomy appeal of Islamic studies, what the Department of Religious Affairs devotes to in the last four years by giving some of Islamic state institutes/universities special classes of Islamic studies, with all its subjects taught in either English or Arabic, offered with full scholarship for undergraduate level, appears to raise new hopes that Islamic studies will play an incredible role in generating, rather than men of working classes and religious extremists, men of ideas and actions committed to earnestly breeding peace, harmony and justice in pluralistic society.

Aslam Sa'ad is currently a lecturer in English and Hermeneutics at Islamic State Institute of Islamic Studies (IAIN Walisongo Semarang); Nihayatul Wafiroh is a Ph.D. student at Indonesian Consortium of Religious Studies (ICRS) of the University of Gadjah Mada.

It is published here

Darah Tercecer

2010-09-26T10:38:00.001-07:00

Duarrrrrrrrr

Dentuman meriam pecah seiring dengan lengkingan suaramu
Menjerit
Darah mengucur bagaikan hujan
Langit kelam
Halilintar merobek indahnya sinar bulan

Dagingmu hitam terpanggang
Serpihan meriam telah mecopoti jari-jarimu
hingga terberai dimakan tikus curut

Purdah yang menutupi tubuh sucimu tak lagi berbentuk
bahkan harum zaitun dari tubuhmu telah berubah
jadi bau anyir, bau kematian

Seonggok tubuh mungil yang baru menghirup panasnya udara dunia sebulan lalu masih dalam dekapanmu
Dia diam
Tak menjerit
Tak berteriak
Tak juga merintih

Selimut yang membalut tubuh merah bayi itu terkoyak
Membuyarkan separuh lengan mungilnya
Dan potongan lengannya terlempar di ujung kamar sempit yang telah poranda

Tak ada air mata keluar
Badanmu hanya menggigil menahan perih dan kesakitan di sekujur tubuh

Duarr....

Bunyi meriam terdengar lagi
Dan tubuhmu bagaikan kambing yang disembelih saat lebaran idul Adha
Mengejang...
Bergetar..
Melotot..
Mata, hidung, mulut, dan telingamu memuntahkan darah segar
dan....
Dengan sisa nyawa kau mencoba mendekap tubuh anakmu
Sebelum akhirnya malaikat benar-benar mencabut nyawamu
Mengantarkanmu berkumpul dengan anak dan suamimu

Selamat jalan perempuan Palestinaku

Tidak Harus Jadi Besar

2010-09-26T10:24:00.000-07:00

"Hari ini ada rencana apa?" sapa burung yang tidak aku tahu kapan datangnya, tiba-tiba sudah bertengger di jendela kamarku, tepat di depan laptopku. Aku hanya tersenyum melihat burung yang ekornya berbulu merah itu.

Ternyata senyumku belum merupakan jawab bagi dia, hingga kedua kalinya dia mengajukan pertanyaan yang sama.

"Engak kemana-mana, di kamar aja. Lagian lagi bokek gini kok," jawabku sambil beranjak menuju kulkas untuk mengambil air putih. Dari ujung mataku, aku lihat dia berpindah posisi. Dia sekarang bukan hanya di depan laptopku tapi sudah mencengkeramkan kaki kecilnya di atas monitor laptopku, sambil matanya yang bundar kecil itu melihat-lihat foto-foto yang aku buka dari FB ku.

Entah kenapa burung mungil yang hingga kini tidak aku tahu namanya itu selalu rajin datang menghampiri jendelaku. Bila jendelaku masih tertutup, dia pasti mematuk-matuk seperti meminta untuk dibukakan. Bila aku sedang tidak tidur dan sedang di kamar, aku akan segera membuka gorden dan jendelaku, dan membiarkannya bertenger di ujung jendela. Kalau tidak ada tugas yang harus aku selesaikan, aku suka menemani burung ini. Biasanya aku akan duduk di atas meja panjangku sambil mendekap kedua lututku di dada. Bunyi air sungai yang mengalir dengan air bening menjadi pemandangan yang membuatku dan burung ini betah duduk berlama-lama di jendela pojok kamarku.

"Emang kamu mau ngajak aku jalan-jalan?" tanyaku sambil duduk kembali di depan laptop dan ngelanjutin tag foto-foto di FB. Burung itu tidak menjawab, dia masih sibuk mengibas-ngibaskan ekor merahnya.

"kenapa kamu enggak belajar terbang seperti aku," jawabnya tiba-tiba. Hemmm.......terbang? aku mengernyitkan dahiku. Sepertinya menarik tuh.

"Aku kecil, tapi aku tahu banyak hal, karena aku selalu berusaha mengepakkan sayapku yang tak seberapa besar ini untuk mencari hal-hal baru." Aku masih belum menjawab, tapi pikiranku mulai bekerja mencerna ucapan burung ini.

"Tidak perlu jadi besar untuk tahu banyak hal, yang penting adalah kemauan." Itu ucapan terahirnya sebelum dia terbang keluar dari kamarku dan bergabung dengan burung-burung lain kebetulan sedang terbang dari pohon-pohon di halaman.

Iya, aku punya banyak hal, tapi kenapa aku hanya diam dan tidak terbang??

Women and Politic

2010-09-26T10:19:00.000-07:00

Beberapa hari lalu aku membaca beberapa news di koran dan radio US tentang kunjungan Obama dan Michelle ke gedung putih. Di situ ditulis bagaimana President Bush dan elected president, Obama mendiskusikan banyak hal tentang America ke depan, terutama problem ekonomi yang sedang menimpa US. Jadi keduanya digambarkan selayaknya pemimpin negara yang bertemu.

Interestingly, gambaran ini berbalik, ketika penggambaran Laura Bush dan Michelle Obama. Laura dikabarnya memberikan pesan-pesan bagaimana menjadikan rumah dinas tersebut selayaknya rumah sendiri.

tentu hal ini kontras sekali dengan gambaran Bush dan Obama. Saya pribadi tidak percaya kalau kedua ibu negara ini hanya mendiskusikan hal-hal yang sifatnya domestik. Saya percaya Michelle adalah orang cerdas, pasti dia akan mencari tahu banyak hal tentang peran sebagai Ibu negara dalam memajukan US dari seniornya. Michelle tentu tidak akan membuang waktunya hanya untuk mengobrolkan hal pengaturan rumah. Tapi kenapa yang di angkat oleh media hanya masalah domestic issues?. Pasti ini kaitannya dengan social construction tentang peran perempuan yang hanya di private sphere.

Saya juga sempat tidak habis pikir ketika baca di salah satu koran yang mengomentari pakaiannya Michelle ketika pidato kemenangan Obama di Chicago. Begitu juga ketika banyak yang mengkritisi penampilan Sarah Palin. Kritik penampilan juga berulang kali menimpa Hillary Clinton saat dia sedang bertarung dengan Obama untuk mendapat tiket maju sebagai calon president dari partai Demokrat. Lalu, kenapa yang disoroti soal baju, make up, sepatu, dan aksesoris lainnya hanya perempuan? Kenapa juga pandangan, sikap dan opini dari para perempuan-perempuan ini tidak dikedepankan dari pada hanya ngomongin soal baju?. Lagi-lagi body image selalu tidak bisa dilepaskan dari sosok perempuan. Perempuan lebih dilihat dari segi penampilan fisik dari pada sisi kecerdasan dia.

Kasus jatuhnya mantan presiden Filipina, Marcos, juga selalu dikaitkan dengan istrinya. Dalam sebuah buku yang saya baca disebutkan bahwa akibat hobby shoppingnya istrinya, Marcos menjadi korupsi dan akhirnya jatuh. Memang tidak bisa dipungkiri bila peran istri sangat mempengaruhi karir politik pasanganya, tapi bukan berarti selalu dilihat dari segi negativenya saja. Imelda Marcos pasti juga berkontribusi besar mengantarkan suaminya ke duduk di kursi presiden. So, menjatuhkan perempuan sebagai kelompok yang paling bersalah adalah bagian untuk mencengkram perempuan agar selalu bisa berada dalam genggaman tradisi patriarchy.

Bagaimana kemudian dengan kasus pemilihan gubernur di Jawa Timur sekarang? seorang kawan sempat melontarkan sebuah pertanyaan tentang kemungkinan adanya "penyusup" yang anti pemimpin perempuan dalam KPU, hingga dengan berbagai cara menjegal perempuan menjadi pemimpin Jawa Timur. hemmmm bisa jadi benar.

Hawaii, November 13, 2008

Pink Voice

2010-09-26T10:17:00.000-07:00

Kemarin di kelas "Advanced Topic in Feminist Studies and Education" kita menerima guest speaker, yakni Dr Sarah Twoney, seorang dosen di curriculum studies di univ ku. Dia memberi judul diskusi kita malam itu dengan "I'm (possible) Literacies: Digital Play, Gender and Schooling."

Kelasku yang hanya terdiri dari 4 students tersebut semakin hangat dengan diskusi yang menarik ini. Sarah menerangkan kalau tema tersebut adalah bagian dari projectnya. Dia telah meneliti masalah ini beberapa tahun dan yang diteliti adalah murid-murid di high school.

Dalam penelitiannya terungkap kalau murid laki-laki lebih banyak menggunakan fasilitas komputer untuk bermain game, sebaliknya murid perempuan lebih memanfaatkan komputer untuk searching materi-materi tentang science.

Sarah juga mempunya web yang dibuatnya dengan kawannya. web tersebut diberi nama Pink Voice. Maksud pink voice adalah tempat diskusi sesama murid-murid perempuan. Memang dalam kenyataanya ketika dalam komunikasi, perempuan sering tidak bisa menjadi dirinya sendiri kalau teman ngobrolnya adalah lawan jenis. Gender construction juga berimplikasi dalam komunikasi sehari-hari.

Aku pernah membaca artikel hasil penelitian, disitu diterangkan bahwa kalau di chat room yang isinya mix gender, biasanya orang yang menggunakan nama-nama maskulin lebih sering menyapa dengan kata-kata yang menjurus ke arah sex, bahkan obrolannya tidak jauh-jauh dengan sex. Dan itu terjadi juga bila chat roomnya khusus laki-laki, disamping obrolan soal sport, topic sex tidak pernah lepas. Ini tidak sama ketika masuk chat room yang untuk perempuan, mereka lebih banyak sharing tentang sibuknya mengurus rumah tangga, tentang anak-anak mereka dan juga sering juga obrolan tentang pekerjaan.

Dari sini aku jadi teringat pikiran yang sempat menggelitik otakku beberapa waktu lalu. Bila aku amati dari banyak kawan blogger, kebanyakan ibu-ibu yang aktif di blogger mempunyai blog lebih dari satu. Biasanya blog yang satu untuk pekerjaan dan blog satunya untuk menulis tentang aktifitas sehari-harinya dengan keluarga. Paling tidak ibu-ibu yang blogger -dalam pandangan saya- selalu memiliki space tersendiri sebagai tempat untuk keluarga. Coba bandingkan dengan blogger laki-laki -ini tentu juga sejauh pandanganku-, mereka hanya memiliki blog satu dan itu untuk pekerjaan mereka. Jarang sekali blogger cowok yang punya space tersendiri yang menceritakan tentang aktifitas dengan keluarganya.

Aku jadi mikir, apakah itu karena ibu-ibu lebih banyak waktunya dengan keluarga? Ah sepertinya enggak juga tuh, aku tahu kok banyak ibu-ibu blogger yang pergi pagi dan pulang sore untuk bekerja, sama dengan suami-suami mereka. Ataukah itu sebagai bentuk ungkapan penyesalan para Ibu-ibu yang tidak bisa selalu menemani buah hati mereka, hingga mereka ingin selalu merekam aktifitas sekecil apapun dengan keluarganya dalam blog?, bisa juga jawabannya iya, bila memang itu masalahnya, lalu apakah bapak-bapak itu juga tidak perlu menyesal telah meninggalkan buah hati mereka begitu lama untuk bekerja?? Mungkin juga jiwa perempuan yang sarat dengan perasaan membawa Ibu-ibu untuk bisa menyalurkan apa yang dia rasakan dalam space tersendiri.

Apapun alasannya dari sini bisa di lihat bagaimana perbedaan gender telah membuktikan cara yang berbeda pula dalam mengungkapkan perasaan.

Hawaii, October 25, 2008

Our Body

2010-09-26T10:16:00.000-07:00

Kemarin saat baca paper yang berjudul "Exploring Feminist Women's Body Counciousness" aku sempat sad banget. Paper yang ditulis oleh mahasiswa dari Arizona State University (ASU-USA), ngomongin soal body image.

Kayaknya paper ini benar-benar sama dengan kondisiku. Seperti yang telah dilihat dan diketahui bersama, kalau size tubuhku termasuk besar. Kalau di US, aku merasa sangat nyaman dengan tubuhku, maksudnya walaupun tubuhku gendut tapi aku enjoy. Mungkin karena ukuran tubuh orang US juga banyak yang gede, jadi aku merasa tidak sendiri. Mungkin juga aku merasa pede karena aku bisa dengan mudah mencari ukuran bajuku di US, bahkan ukuran bajuku masih termasuk L, padahal di US ada ukuran baju yang X5L. Mungkin juga kenyamananku karena orang sini tidak perduli dengan ukuran tubuh, jadi tidak pernah ada yang mengomentari tubuhku.

Tapi kondisi ini berbalik 100% kalau aku di Indonesia. Sebenernya dibawah alam sadarku, aku sangat ketakutan dengan ketidak nyamanan ukuran tubuhku bila aku di Indonesia. Ampe sebulan sebelum pulang biasanya aku sudah mulai belajar peace dengan komentar2 yang bakal aku terima, aku juga belajar peace dengan hatiku yang terus brontak dengan bebagai macam "pelecehan" yang aku terima.

DI Indonesia, kalau aku ketemu teman or saudara, bisa dapat dipastikan komentarnya seragam "Lho, nduk kok tambah gemuk ya." Hatiku sebenernya protes kenapa sih mereka selalu tanya seperti itu, kenapa mereka tidak mementingkan bertanya gimana kondisi sekolahku or kesehatanku misalnya, dari pada hanya ngomongin tubuh. Tapi lagi-lagi semua protes hanya aku simpan dalam kegetiran hati.

Belum lagi kalau aku harus nyari baju. Ampuuuuuuunnnnn benar-benar perjuangan. Perasaan jengkel, malu dan sebel sering menyerangku. Bayangkan suatu saat aku pernah masuk ke pusat perbelanjaan, terus aku lihat-lihat baju, ada baju yang menarik, aku tanya ke penjaganya untuk minta ukuran yang paling gede, tapi ternyata setelah aku coba tetep aja tidak muat. Mau tau komentar penjaganya itu "Wah Mbak, ukuran baju ini yang paling besar. Yang salah kayaknya bukan ukuran bajunya sih, tapi badan mbak." TUHANNNNN, andaikan saat itu Allah mencabut sedikit aja kesadaranku, pasti penjaga itu sudah aku tonjokkkkkkkk. Aku benar-benar hanya jadi penonton kalau lagi shopping dengan teman-teman ke outlet2, la gimana lawong semua baju dan celana hanya untuk ukuran orang yang 'kecil'.

Itu baru urusan baju, belum lagi dengan sandal/sepatu. Untuk ukuran cewek, ukuran kakiku emang gede. Sekitar nomor 40/41. Dan tahu sendirilah sulit nyari sandal /sepatu lucu-lucu yang seukuran itu. Pernah aku muter nyari sepatu untuk acara wisuda dengan temanku. Pengennya sepatu yang agak berhak, biar pantas dipandankan dengan songket. Tapi perburuan selama dua hari di Jogja, tidak juga menemukan sepatu itu. Temenku sampe komentar "Dasar kaki gajah." Di US, aku seperti menemukan tempatku, aku bisa dengan mudah mencari sepatu or sandal yang sesuai dengan ukuran kakiku. Makanya sekarang aku sering banget shopping sepatu/sandal, ya itung-itung balas dendam lah. Kata Suamiku buat investasi di Indonesia nanti.

Ternyata bukan hanya body yang menghalangiku untuk memilih pakaian, statusku sebagai Ibu dua anak juga sangat mempengaruhiku. Pernah suatu saat aku pake baju (yang kata orang sok ABG) dan aku padankan dengan celana jins dan sepatu ket. Eh ada saudaraku yang berkomentar "Nik, kamu itu harus sadar dua hal sebelum berpakaian. Satu, body kamu tuh enggak pantas pake baju neko-neko. Dua, kamu itu udah punya anak dua lho." Ya Allah, sedih sekaliiii. Memang aku punya dua anak, bahkan anak pertamaku sudah umur 9 tahun, tapi lagi-lagi aku pengen teriak kalau aku juga masih MUDA, umurku masih dua puluh delapan tahun.

Pernah juga keponaan sepupu dari suamiku laporan ke mertuaku, saat itu aku masih kuliah S1, dia bilang ke mertuaku "Mbah, Mbak Ninik tuh sok kayak anak muda, masak pakenya celana jins, bawa tas ransel, dan suka lihat konser lagi." Kan waktu aku kuliah, aku sudah punya anak. Tapi syukur banget mertuaku orangnya moderat, mendapat laporan begitu, abah mertuaku jawabnya enteng aja "Ya enggak apa-apa, Ninik kan emang juga masih muda." Ihhhhhhh kapooooookkk rasain deh hehehe.

Satu-satunya orang yang tidak pernah protes dengan pakaian dan tubuhku, dan hanya didepan dia aku selalu pede dengan tubuhku adalah MY BELOVED HUSBAND. Thanks ya sayang.

Terlepas dari itu semua, sebenernya aku pengen berontak dari body image yang berkembang di masyarakat, tapi sulit banget. Sering kali aku merasa Ugly, karena di satu sisi aku sudah fokus mempelajari tentang gander, tapi di sisi lain aku masih sangat terpengaruh dengan body image yang jelas-jelas social construction dari budaya patriachy ini.

OK teman, bebaskan BODY mu dari semua yang mengekang. The person who has your body is only you.

Hawaii, September 13, 2008

Ayat-Ayat Cinta dalam Kritik

2010-09-26T10:14:00.001-07:00

Aku sudah pernah nonton film AAC berkali-kali, semalam film ini di putar di Korean Studies Centre, yang mengadakan adalah program Southeast Asia Department. Sebenernya muales nonton, cuman Babah belum pernah nonton dan minta ditemani, ya udah wes aku nonton, sambil bawa minum dan beberapa buah untuk buka puasa.

Ada sekitar 50-an orang yang nonton, kebanyakan dari mereka adalah student-student yang konsentrasi di bidang Indonesia, salah satunya si Bule gila satu ini, Lance. Selain pinter bahasa Indonesai, dan focus penelitiannya tentang suku Bajo di SUlawesi, dia juga penggila masakan Indonesia. Kata teman-teman, Si Lance ini orang Indonesia yang kebetulan lahir di US,hehhe.

Setelah nonton, aku, Babah dan Lance berdiskusi. Kata Lance, nih film membingungkan, apasih pesan yang akan dikirimkan, kok kayaknya pesan yang di awal film dan di akhir film berbeda. Kemudian sambil berjalan pulang menuju Dormitory, Lance mengkritisi film yang menghebohkan ini. Dia bilang, "ketika di awal film, aku pikir film ini bagus banget, yakni menceritakan tentang hubungan orang Islam yang sholeh dan orang Kristen yang baik. Tapi ketika masuk akhir-akhir, kok jadi tentang Poligami?".

Lance juga mengaku bingung kenapa sih setiap kali tokoh Maria mengeluarkan darah dari hidungnya pasti jatuhnya di tangan kirinya yang ada tato salibnya?, apa maksudnya?. Apakah itu sebagai symbol bahwa Maria akan menghapus tanda salib tersebut? Atau sebagai sinyal kalau Maria akan convert to Islam?.Jadi pesan yang hendak dibawa oleh film ini tumpang tindih dan tidak jelas.

Sempat pula dipertanyakan oleh Lance tentang bagaimana reaksi orang Kristen terhadap film ini. Sejauh sepengetahuanku sepertinya film ini tidak menuai protes apa-apa dari orang Kristen. aku tidak tahu, apakah karena orang Kristen Indonesia tidak berani berkomentar? atau karena mereka tidak mempermasalahkan hal tersebut? atau bahkan karena mereka tidak pernah menonton film ini?.

Walaupun aku udah nonton film ini lebih dari satu kali, tapi terus terang aku tidak pernah berpikir sejauh itu, mungkin setting pikiranku sebagai orang Islam dan Indonesia berbeda dengan cara melihat dari seorang Lance yang America terhadap film ini. Aku jadi ingat komentar seorang kawan di Indonesia setelah melihat film ini "Akhirnya si Maria masuk Islam juga ya, alhamdulillah." Ini tentu berbeda dengan Lance yang berkomentar, "Kalau aku jadi sutradaranya, aku tetep biarkan Maria itu sebagai Kristen Coptic, biar di situ terlihat keharmonisan hubungan Islam dan Kristen, dan aku pikir ini akan menjadi gambaran yang bagus bahwa Islam itu sebenernya benar-benar agama yang peace."

Lalu bagaimana dengan pendapat anda sendiri? salam

Hawaii, September 13, 2008

Face of Muhammad

2010-09-26T10:13:00.001-07:00

Aku mengambil kelas Islamic Philosophy dengan Dr. Tamara Albertini, seorang American yang pinter berbahasa Arab dan ahli filsafat Islam. Basically, di kelas ini aku ingin melihat bagaimana seorang America melihat filsafat Islam. Sekaligus di kelas ini aku pengen mereview pelajaran tentang filsafat Islam yang pernah aku dapat di S1 dulu.

Walaupun secara keseluruhan yang disampaikan oleh Albertini bukan new things bagiku, tapi tetep aja menarik mengikuti diskusi di kelas. Tadi ada seorang kawan yang bertanya tentang bagaimana face of Muhammad. Albertini menunjukkan beberapa gambar yang menceritakan ketika Muhammad dilahirkan, terus ada juga gambar Muhammad ketika melakukan Isra' Mi'raj, dan gambar facenya Muhammad yang agak jelas yaitu gambar yang menunjukkan ketika Muhammad mengangkat hajar aswad dan meletakkannya di kain yang dipegang oleh beberapa orang dari suku-suku yang ada di Makkah. Albertini mendapatkan gambar-gambar tersebut dari berbagai manuscrip yang tersebar di perpustakaan Eropa dan US.

Saat itu aku langsung teringat guru mengajiku di desa dulu yang mengatakan bahwa wajah Muhammad tidak bisa digambarkan, karena Muhammad adalah the perfect person in the world. Guru mengajiku bahkan berani mempersentasikan kecakapan Nabi Muhammad. Menurut Beliau, kegantengan Muhammad itu adalah setengah dunia, sedangkan Nabi Yusuf seperempat dunia, lalu seperempat lainnya dibagikan ke seluruh umat manusia. Jadi usaha menggambarkan Muhammad bisa dikategorikan sebagai bentuk pelecehan terhadap Muhammad, sebab Muhammad diyakini pasti jauh lebih sempurna dari gambaran tersebut. Bahkan menurut guru ngajiku tersebut membayangkan wajah Muhammad aja kita tidak mampu. Dan sepertinya pandangan tersebut yang banyak di pegang oleh umat Islam di Indonesia, jadi sangat wajarlah ketika ada kartun tentang Muhammad, terlebih kartun tersebut sangat mendiskriditkan Muhammad, umat Islam langsung murka. Aku sendiri secara personal belum pernah menemukan rujukan yang bisa jadi reference hukum menggambar wajah Muhammad, dan hingga kini aku juga tidak tahu rujukan yang dipakai guru ngajiku tersebut.

Wah gimana ya kira-kira reaksi guru ngajiku kalau mengetahui Muhammad digambar?

Perempuan Bercadar dan Strereotype

2010-09-26T10:05:00.000-07:00

Saya belum pernah punya kawan yang bercadar. Tapi dulu, saat Kuliah Kerja Nyata (KKN) S1 teman satu post saya adalah pemakai jilbab besar. Dari situ saya belajar banyak, bagaimana prinsip dan pandangan perempuan-perempuan yang lebih suka menutup seluruh tubuhnya dengan baju yang longgar dan jilbab yang nyaris menutup sebagian tubuhnya. Teman saya ini orangnya asik, bahkan dia hobi ngebut kalau naik motor. Saya enjoy mengobrol dengan dia. Kami suka berdiskusi banyak hal. Walaupun saya termasuk penyuka celana jeans, tapi teman saya ini tidak pernah menghakimi, atau menggurui. Dia berpikir cara berpakaian adalah sifatnya individual. Tidak ada yang salah dalam berpakaian, karena tergantung bagaimana orang mengenali dirinya sendiri.

Sejak saat itu saya tidak pernah memandang sebelah mata pada orang yang berpakaian beda dengan saya. Kadang saya berpikir, apakah mereka tidak ribet atau kepanasan memakai pakaian sepeti itu?. Tapi bisa jadi mereka berpikiran yang sama ke saya, apakah saya tidak malu memakai celan jins yang notabene memperlihatkan lekukan kaki saya? Jadi impaskan?? Menurut saya, sebenarnya pikiran-pikiran itu muncul ketika kita tidak saling kenal atau mengetahui.

Ketika di TV dihebohkan dengan pemberitaan tentang teroris, yang notabene perempuan-perempuan yang dekat dengan mereka selalu menggunakan cadar, saya jadi berpikir. Apakah mereka itu juga sangat seekslusif cara berpakaiannya? ataukah mereka orang yang enak juga diajak berdiskusi seperti halnya teman saya?

Beberawa waktu lalu saya berputar-putar mencari rumah kontrakan di Yogyakarta. Saat proses mencari kontrakan ini, saya menemukan kenyataan baru tentang perempuan bercadar. Saat mengobrol dengan seorang bapak dan Ibu yang kebetulan rumah orang tuanya akan dikontrakkan, Ibu itu bilang,"Dua hari lalu sebenarnya ada orang yang sudah melihat rumah itu, tempat dan harga sudah cocok, tapi Pak RT menganjurkan untuk tidak menerima pengontrak tersebut." Saya pun heran, menurut ibu tersebut sang calon pengontrak ini istrinya memakai cadar. Masih menurut Ibu tadi, di beberapa tempat banyak perempuan bercadar yang diusir dari kontrakan. Bahkan ada yang mau mengontrak dua tahun, tapi baru berjalan dua bulan sudah diminta keluar.

Saya prihatin sekali dengan kondisi ini. Tapi saya mencoba melihat dari dua sisi. Andaikan saya menjadi pemilik kontrak tentu saya memiliki kekhawatiran yang tidak berbeda. Media telah membentuk persepsi bahwa orang yang bercadar dan juga keluarganya harus dicurigai sebagai orang-orang dari kelompok teroris. Lalu apakah semua perempuan bercadar juga anggota teroris?. Saya bayangkan betapa sakit dan sedihnya para perempuan itu terusir dari kontrakan dan sulit diterima di masyarakat. Mereka juga selalu dipandang sebagai orang yang harus dicurigai sebagai teroris. Padahal jelas-jelas belum tentu mereka bersalah. Hanya karena segelintir orang yang membuat teror, imbasnya mengenai ke banyak orang.

Walaupun memang benar kebanyakan perempuan terdekat para teroris tersebut memakai jilbab bercadar, tapi apakah mereka adalah bagian dari jaringan tersebut?. kenyataan yang ada kebanyakan dari mereka juga korban. Lihat perempuan-perempuan yang hanya digunakan oleh Nurdin M Top sebagai tameng persembunyian. Mereka dinikahi dengan mengunakan nama palsu, setelah memiliki anak mereka ditinggal. Lagi-lagi perempuan menjadi korban. Bila melihat kenyataan ini, perempuan menjadi korban dua kali. Pertama mereka dinikahi dengan tidak bertanggung jawab, lalu mereka juga harus menanggung beban atas asumsi masyarakat.

Melihat kondisi seperti ini, seharusnya pemerintah turut ambil bagian dalam mengatasi masalah. Semisal, perempuan bercadar dan keluarganya diberi surat pengantar dari perangkat desa yang nantinya bisa menjadi bukti bahwa mereka adalah orang-orang yang tidak terlibat jaringan teroris. Surat ini akan menjadi jaminan bagi mereka untuk bisa diterima oleh masyarakat dan akhirnya mereka akan bisa mendapat tempat tinggal. Bayangkan ketika mereka tidak memeliki tempat tinggal, dimana mereka akan tidur? Bagaimana dengan anak-anak mereka?. Siapun mereka, dan bagaimanapun cara berpakaian mereka, tetap saja mereka adalah manusia dan warga Indonesia yang negara harus turut menjamin kehidupan yang layak.

How was the Gender Role in Kraton

2010-03-22T05:51:00.000-07:00

When I joined fieldtrip at Sultan Palace last Monday, I was shock when the guide described the different clothes for married and unmarried women in Sultan’s family. For unmarried women, they wore kemben (a long narrow sash worn at or above the waist), and for married women, their clothes covered all body. What is the reason behind this? It is interesting for me. I think that it is not just natural rule but there must be philosophical reasons. Islam was known in kingdom family since around 17-18 century, but the tradition of clothes for women did not change. In fact, Sultan Hamengkubono IX established a mosque. It indicates that Islam had been followed. Indeed, Islam promoted that women should cover their whole body, and it did not any differences for unmarried or married women. Therefore, while until recently unmarried women still wore kemben, it means that Islam tenets did not influence in the daily life. I am sure that the clothes code affects in life. So I am wondering to know how women’s role before and after married in Sultan’s family.

Another thing is the carriage for permasuri (King’s wife). It is too small, and according to the guide, it was used. I cannot image how she set on the carriage. I think that it is impossible if she laid down in the carriage. Again, I do not believe that it was made without any purpose. I am sure that gender reason became one of the causes when it was created. The carriage totally is dissimilar with King’s carriage. For the King, carriage is open, so people from outside could see King easily. For permasuri, the carriage is like a box. As a result, permasuri and people from outside could not see each other. I think that studying the gender roles in Sultan family with using these kinds of Sultan’s heritages will enrich the knowledge regarding women’s position and role in Sultan’s family

Ninik Wafiroh: What Do Al-Quran and Bible Say about Interfaith Relationship?

2010-03-13T20:52:00.000-08:00

Actually, this note is for my interfaith dialogue class. I think that the articles are interesting, so I want to share my opinion regarding the articles in this space.

Discussion for today is quite interesting for me since we attempt to connect the interfaith dialogue to the Holy Books. I do believe that introducing interfaith dialogue with using Holy Books will be more effective to encourage people. Some people still think that they will follow whatever their Holy Books say. If Holy Books do not mention about such a point, they are reluctant to follow. Therefore, persuasion with using Quran and Bible, I think, will hook in the core.

I am a Muslim, and I graduated from Tafsir and Hadits major when I was in undergraduate level. However, I am still surprise when I read the article from Issa J. Boullata, “Fa-stabiqu ‘l-khayrat: A Qur’anic Principle of Interfaith Relations.” Actually, the tafsir that he uses in his articles are famous tafsir among Muslims, but the interpretation of the theme is rarely addressed. Usually the term Fa-stabiqu ‘l-khayra is only used for the fair competition. It is hardly found for interfaith relationship.

The main ayah that Boullata notes is surah al-Maidah, ayah 48. The full translation for it from Yusuf Ali is :

To thee We sent the Scripture in truth, confirming the scripture that came before it, and guarding it in safety: so judge between them by what Allah hath revealed, and follow not their vain desires, diverging from the Truth that hath come to thee. To each among you have we prescribed a law and an open way. If Allah had so willed, He would have made you a single people, but (His plan is) to test you in what He hath given you: so strive as in a race in all virtues. The goal of you all is to Allah. it is He that will show you the truth of the matters in which ye dispute.

Basically, Boullata describes that there are two main arguments about Fa-stabiqu ‘l-khayra, particularly in the word li-kull-in. First argument is that the term refers not only for single religion but also all people from different religious communities. It indicates that every religion has a different law. In contrast, second argument argues that it is specific only for Muhammad’s community and it is closing the opportunity for other communities or other religions. In this case, I share argument with Boullata that actually Quran accepts the existence of other faith. Indeed, it opens the door to make interfaith dialogue. Allah in some ayah strongly says that the differences among people have the purpose to enrich people in order to know each other. Thus, we cannot deny the different faith among people and we have to admit that Allah creates us differently to learn each other.

Like Quran, Bible, particularly in Old Testament, gives the great story of the relationship between Israel and Canaanite. It indicates that Bible receives the different faith. Indeed, Jesus learned from Canaanite woman. I think that it is not a simple case. From what Jesus did, we are able to figure out that Jesus taught us to admit other faith and we have to learn from them not to fight each other.

Both cases are extremely strong arguments for interfaith dialogue. However, in reality, they are rarely to be used to promote interfaith dialogue.

2009-04-13T22:42:00.001-07:00

Mohon doa mau oral defense untuk tugas akhir Jumat tanggal 17 April 2009

Who is your circle of esteem?

2009-03-13T02:39:00.000-07:00

Robert Cribb discusses about the circle of esteem, standard works and euphoric couplets. I think, Cribb is such a skeptic person. However, in some arguments, I share opinion with him. In term of circle of esteem, I think it might be also related to the Bigalke’s writing. The circle of esteem could arrange from the points of keys. Such a student, I also ask my self that am I a member of circle of esteem? If so, what am I going to receive and give to be the member? If not, why am I not a member of circle of esteem and what could happen? Or do I need becoming a member?

Cribb states that the production of knowledge as an industrial process, which means that everything depends on the market demands. I think that circle of esteem might be as a vehicle of industrial knowledge. If circle of esteem works under industrial demands, for sure the ideal of research will lose. Actually, the case of industrial knowledge also manacles students. When they received scholarships, they should research under the request of the funding.

Standard works and euphoric couplets are parts of a role in circle of esteem. Standard works is the references that are always used to be reliable citations for scholars. As a result, the researchers never move from the circle. So who make the standard works? Indeed, I am not able to find the certain criteria of standard works from Cribb. I think when Cribb describes about how to write the standard works, it is uncertain. There are many quality books about Indonesia, for instance, but they are not included to be standard works. Does standard works link to the industrial knowledge? Is standard works the new face of hegemony of knowledge?

For people who have initiative to do outside the standard works, they choose euphoric couplets. With the provocative terms, researchers break in the standard works. Circle takes some example books and articles of euphoric couplets such as “imagined community” by Benedict Anderson. However, I think right now there are many book such Anderson’s books that already become the primary references of researchers, so can they be categorized that they are standard works? if so, do we need “new” euphoric couplets?.

Apa Yang Kita Harapkan dari Politik??

2009-02-28T14:12:00.000-08:00

Tulisan ini juga dimuat di sini

Beberapa waktu lalu seorang kawan di Banyuwangi meninggalkan pesan di YM yang isinya mengajak untuk ngobrol bareng. Perbedaan waktu yang cukup jauh antara Hawaii dan Indonesia sering sekali menjadikan kami tidak selalu bertemu dalam waktu yang berbarengan. Pada waktu dan hari yang sudah kita sepakati bersama, akhirnya aku bisa ngobrol dengan dia via chatting di YM.
Dia bercerita kalau saat ini sedang sibuk menyiapkan diri untuk maju ke kursi legislative di daerah Banyuwangi. Ada dua hal yang tiba-tiba saya rasakan. Pertama, tentu saya senang dan sangat mendukung langkahnya. Siapapun orangnya yang mau maju menjadi “buruh” rakyat tentu harus didukung, dan ini adalah tugas mulia. Tapi disisi lain sikap skeptic yang saya miliki pada politik juga muncul. Entah sudah berapa lama saya sangat meragukan dunia politik, walupun di ranah lain saya percaya bila politik juga merupakan jalan untuk memperbaiki kondisi masyarakat.
Sebagai teman, tentunya saya harus menunjukkan kalau saya dibelakang dia. Mulailah obrolan mengarah pada peta politik di Banyuwangi dan persiapan apa saja yang sudah dia lakukan untuk merebut kursi panas di DPRD. Harapan bahwa dia akan memberikan jawaban yang bisa memuaskan nafsu keingintahuan saya pada politik dan alih-alih mampu menghapus rasa ketidakpercayaan saya pada politik ternyata langsung menguap begitu saja. Saya sempat bertanya hal yang paling mendasar tentang berapa presentasi jumlah pemilih pemula dan pemilih lama di dapil dia. Dia hanya simple menjawab “emang itu penting ya?.” Saya masih berusaha mengejarnya dengan sebuah pertanyaan menukik, “Bagaimana kamu akan bisa menentukan program apa yang paling tepat bagi masyarakat di wilayahmu bila presentasi pemilihnya saja kamu tidak tahu.” Dia bilang kalau itu semua tidak penting, karena posisi dia yang berapa diurutan kepala sudah bisa menjadi jaminan untuk bisa melenggang ke gedung DPRD. Dalam artian menurut dia program bukan sesuatu yang signifikan. “Pokoknya sekarang yang aku butuhkan adalah uang untuk kampanye,” ujarnya mantap.
Pengen berontak dengan pernyataan dia yang asal-asalan, tapi saya berusaha melihat dari sisi lain. Saya yakin fenomena caleg seperti ini banyak jumlahnya, bahkan bisa jadi mayoritas. Mereka beranggapan bahwa semuanya bisa diselesiakn dengan uang. Maka tidaklah heran bila banyak wajah-wajah baru yang belum punya andil apapun di masyarakat tiba-tiba berubah menjadi seperti malaikat yang menebarkan uang. Ini mengingatkan saya pada ucapan seorang warga miskin dipedalaman Vietnam yang dikutip dalam sebuah buku. Petani tersebut bilang kalau dia berharap setiap hari adalah pemilu, hingga dia bisa tiap hari mendapat sumbangan sembako dan juga uang.
Di lain waktu, seorang kawan sewaktu kuliah S1 di UIN Sunan Kalijaga, Jogjakarta mengirimkan stikel dan foto baliho dirinya. Untuk pemilihan 2009 ini dia akan menempati nomor urut 3 untuk maju DPRD Magelang, Jawa Tengah. Dia menceritakan betapa motif untuk maju menjadi caleg ternyata sangat beragam. Saya sempat terpingkal-pingkal ketika dia bilang kalau ada seorang caleg yang sudah cukup merasa bangga ketika di pintu rumah tetangganya terpasang foto dirinya dan disandingkan dengan Megawati. Dan untuk kasus caleg dari Partai Demokrat, mereka sudah puas melihat fotonya disejajarkan dengan foto Susilo Bambang Yudhoyono (SBY). Bahkan air mata saya sampai keluar karena ketawa mengetahui bila ada seorang caleg yang pengusaha percetakan dan sablon memaksakan diri maju menjadi seorang kandidat DPRD –walaupun dia dapat nomor sepatu- agar dia bisa kenal dengan caleg-caleg lain dengan harapan para caleg yang dia kenal mau memesan stikel, kaos, ataupun aksesori kampanye lainnya ke dia. Jadi bagi mereka bukan kemenangan yang diincar. Entahlah pemilu macam apa ini, kok sepertinya menjadi sebuah dagelan murahan.
Keraguan saya yang sebelumnya sudah ada semakin tumbuh subur dengan cerita kawan-kawan saya tersebut. Tapi di lain hal saya tidak bisa menyembunyikan sebuah pertanyaan besar dalam diri saya tentang bagaimana masyarakat Indonesia, Banyuwangi khususnya, akan bisa memilih para calon wakil mereka dengan tepat. Tidak bisa dipungkiri kalau kenyataan yang ada “mereka-mereka” lah yang sekarang sedang bertarung untuk menuju gedung parlement, jadi mau tidak mau masyarakat Banyuwangi harus memilih mereka. Memang ada pilihan lain untuk tidak memilih, alias golput, tapi bagi saya itu adalah tindakan orang-orang pecundang, karena mereka tidak mau memilih tapi akan menjadi orang terdepan untuk memprotes bila ada kesalahan yang dilakukan parlement. Bagi saya lebih berwibawa bila kita tetep menggunakan hak suara kita dengan memilih caleg yang “terbaik” dari yang ada, dan tentunya tetap mengkritis mereka ketika terjadi penyimpangan saat sudah menjabat.
Kenyataan di lapangan masyarakat tidak mendapatkan pembelajaran politik. Lembaga-lembaga yang seharusnya berperan penting untuk political education sering kali malah menjadikan powernya untuk memperoleh dukungan dari masyarakat pada calon-calon yang sudah memiliki deal dengan mereka. Yang dibutuhkan oleh rakyat sekarang ini bukan hanya selembar nomor dan foto caleg yang bisa secara sembunyi-sembunyi di bawa masuk ke bilik TPS dan kemudian dipilihnya di lembar pemilihan, tapi rakyat harus diajari untuk memilih calon yang benar. Tidak penting siapa yang nantinya menjadi pilihan rakyat, sejauh rakyat memilihnya dengan pertimbangan yang matang dan tahu track record dari calon yang dipilih, itu sudah menjadi pembelajaran politik yang luar biasa.
Sebagai orang yang saat ini tinggal jauh dari Banyuwangi, saya pribadi tidak bisa melakukan apa-apa untuk mengambil fungsi sebagai political educator, disamping secara kemampuan saya tidak memiliki pengalaman di politik. Namun bagaimanapun juga, tanpa mengesampingkan kecerdasan masyarakat, saya merasa kalau tetap harus bertindak walaupun sangat kecil. Paling tidak kita harus melangkah.
Ketika bergabung dalam forum lare osing ini, yang menurut pengamatan saya kebanyakan member aktifnya tinggal di luar Banyuwangi, saya jadi tergerak untuk membuat sebuah langkah bersama untuk menyikapi pemilu ini. Selama ini banyak orang beranggapan kalau para putra Banyuwangi yang di luar kurang perduli dengan daerahnya, mungkin dengan sebuah langkah bersama ini kita bisa menunjukkan kalau kita tetap menjadi bagian untuk membangun Banyuwangi. Di satu sisi forum ini memiliki kekuatan yang lebih, karena independent. Kita tidak berafilisi dengan partai politik dan organisasi manapun, dan kita juga bukan Lembaga Pemberdayaan Masyarakat (LSM). Jadi suara kita memang murni aspirasi bersama, tidak mewakili atau pesanan dari siapapun.
Yang keluar dari pikiran saya sekarang ini adalah membuat PETISI BERSAMA, yang isinya bahwa forum lare oseng ini mendukung pemilihan caleg yang bersih dan mumpuni. Tentu harus banyak criteria yang perlu disepakati, semisal caleg yang tidak memakai money politik, memiliki track record yang baik dalam aktivitas kemasyarakat, berpihak pada rakyat, punya program yang jelas dan sebagainya. Bila langkah tersebut diteruskan, dari petisi ini kita bisa menekan partai politik untuk menandatanganinya, hingga nantinya ketika mereka sudah menjabat kita bisa memakainya untuk menagih janji-janji mereka.
Bagaimana kawan????

Is Decentralization A Good Way?

2008-11-15T01:00:00.000-08:00

Last week a friend of mine contacted me through yahoo messenger, he told me that he will run for the local parliament of Banyuangi region next year. Actually, he asked me to support and take part in his fund raising management. He explained that he has so far been doing little to boost his political effort while he is now still trying to accumulate and hoard the money. When asked about his political visions and programs, it seemed that he has unclear answer. He said, “Programs are less necessary than money. If I have money, I can do everything. People also never care about the program. You know, I am listed on the top rank among my party parliament candidates, so it guarantees me to be elected.” His social position, moreover, as a son of a religious leader gives him much chance to be elected. His family’s charisma and fame are good investment in getting voters. Therefore, money and the family status are the keys for him to get vote even though his family name is only known in his local area.

From it, I can figure out that the money has more power to get votes rather than the program, and it is exactly similar with what Daniel Arghiros (2001) addresses about the election in one rural area in Thailand. Money can buy votes, because the economic conditions of villagers forced them to receive the money, so it was understood when one Thai said that she wishes that everyday to be Election Day. It also indicates that money politics, in Indonesia for example, is still used by politicians although the political system has been changing from the centralized system of politics to decentralized one. If we analyze from different way, the case of money politics was actually exemplified by those who hold central administration in Jakarta. It means that decentralization also opens opportunities for local power to do same thing as central power do such as corruption.

From my friend’s background that he is from the religious leader’s family, it can be seen that decentralization also brings the opportunity to local leaders to be active in the politics. Aspinal and Fealy (2003) examine that decentralization already transmuted from the military to the civil power. After Suharto’s fall and the decentralization was applied, the number of governors or bupatis from military significantly decreased.

However, Hadiz (2004) also points out that the old elites still dominate in the local governments. So, the elites from the central administration in Jakarta come down to regional regions in order to take over the local government. For instance, in the East Java governor election, from five pairs of candidates, all are from old elites and they already existed in the central government such as Khofifah Indar Parawansa and Sukarwo.

Hutchcroft (2001) states that decentralization might be a good way of democracy, particularly in administration. Haryanto and Hadiz (2005) also discusses that decentralization integrates with the democracy even though it is unsuccessful since the elites in the local became new kings. Additionally, Dawn Brancati (2006) highlights that ethnic conflict and secessionism cannot be avoided by only decentralization. In fact, in Indonesian’s case, every local election such in provinces or districts leave the conflict among the followers of candidates. The masses of people are often used to influence the process of election.
Decentralization just spreads out the power from the central, in this case in Jakarta, to the local elites. As a result, decentralization does not answer the “main” agenda of democracy. The centralization in the past devolved the authoritarians to the local government. Thus, the local elites seems to have no political maturation yet.

Forest and My Villagers

2008-10-10T22:06:00.000-07:00

Today in my class Political Science 780, we discussed about the political ecology and gender. And the leaders in that discussion were Andrea and I.

This is very an interesting topic. We started the discussion with analyze the Nancy Peluso's book, Rich forests, Poor People, and a chapter from A. Dale Shields (and team), Developing and Dismantling Social Capital: Gender and Resources Management in the Philippine . Those authors did a great job even though almost half of my classmates thought that Shields et,al, are less academic.

We began the themes of the problem of forests in Indonesia. I shared my own experiences to be a villager who lives not far from the teak forest in Indonesia. I attempted to explore the changing condition of my villagers before and after 1997 where the crisis of economy has been attacking Indonesia. Indeed, only rattans and firewood that we took as forest products before New Regime Era fell. Thus, it was quite hard to find the villagers' houses, which used teak to be interior. However, the condition was hundred percent different when villagers were getting influences of monetary crisis. The Blokagung peasants, which is the name of my village, and the peasants from outside Blokagung began to cut the teaks and sold them. They really did not care about the environmental effect of what they did. Personally, I could accept it since they have to feed their family, and they have to keep their children in the schools.

In early months, selling teak was not a big deal. They just brought the teak by bikes to outside forest. If we wanted to buy it, we just waited in our house in the late afternoon. When they passed our house, we could negotiate the price in the street and the teak would belong to us if we could deal the price. This process was just like to buy "krupuk" in Indonesia. As a result, all the houses in my village are using teak even for the floor. It was funny when I asked my dad "where did you buy the teak,? and he said, "I brought for thief. I wanted to help him just it."

Nevertheless, after a few months, the police began to capture the thief and the person who collected the teak. Well, actually the religious leader that had power and charisma in the village already attempted to take the role. He often gave advice for the villagers to stop stealing the teak. However, the religious schools could not do anything when the villagers argued him and gave the proof that actually the police was the boss of the thief.

Basically, I want to add the questions of this case. Who actually is considered to be thief? In fact, villagers live for long time in the forest, and they also maintain the forest, so why the state controls the land, the species, and also the forest labor?. Is it because in our UUD there is the article that says, "all water, land, and air belong to the state? In other hand, permission to explore the forests is given to the international corporations or to the big entrepreneurs by the state. With forest concession or Hak Pengusaha Hutan (HPH), they could receive the benefit from the forest. In reality, HPH left many problems in not only the environmental destruction but also the conflict with the local people. It is stupid.

If politic and money are only ways to talk with other, how can the poor peasants gain their rights? Negotiation, in my view, is not really working because it is not running if two groups do not have same level and cann't seat in the same table. As we can see, it never happens in Indonesia.

So, where are my communities going to go?? How are the ways for my communities to survive their live? SO let come back to the village, and give them that they have to get.

Kenapa Harus Pesantren

2008-09-27T08:39:00.000-07:00

Sudah menjadi wacana yang mengglobal bila salah satu factor dari termarginalnya perempuan adalah ekonomi. Perempuan dalam tradisi patriarkhi hanya memiliki tanggung jawab sebagai housewife yang tugasnya melakukan housework dan menjadi pelayan bagi suami dan anak-anaknya.

Posisi ini tidak memberi kesempatan bagi perempuan untuk bekerja di luar. Kalaupun sekarang banyak perempuan yang kerja di luar, lebih pada factor ekonomi keluarga, bukan berlandaskan kesadaran mendalam akan usaha memberikan hak perempuan untuk berkembang.

Ketidak mampuan perempuan dalam ekonomi ini menjadikan perempuan sangat tergantung pada orang lain, hingga dia tidak mempunyai bargain kuat dalam lingkungannya. Bahkan terkadang untuk merawat alat reproduksinya yang nota bene merupakan bagian terpenting, mereka tidak bisa memutuskan sendiri, karena mereka tidak memiliki income.

Mengaca dengan hal ini, tentu usaha penguatan ekonomi perempuan menjadi hal yang tidak bisa ditawar lagi. Dengan uang yang dihasilkan sendiri, perempuan bisa memutuskan hal-hal penting menyangkut dirinya dan orang-orang terdekatnya, tidak perlu tergantung pada orang lain lagi. Namun bukan berarti hendak mengatakan kalau orang lain tidak dibutuhkan dalam kehidupan perempuan.

Yang menjadi pertanyaan selanjutnya yakni kenapa pesantren manjadi penting dalam usaha gerakan penguatan perekonomian perempuan?. Mungkin pertanyaan tersebut terlalu usang untuk diajukan kembali, tapi keusangannya tidak serta merta mereduse pentingnya untuk mendiskusikannya.

Banyak pendapat yang diungkapkan tentang pentingnya pesantren dalam hal ini. Pertama, pesantren adalah bagian esensial bagi masyarakat termasuk perempuan. Mereka selalu meletakkan pesantren sebagai panutan yang harus diikuti. Posisi pesantren ini tentu sangat menguntungkan bila digunakan sebagai upaya penyadaran akan pentingnya penguatan ekonomi bagi perempuan.

Posisi pesantren yang menempel erat dengan perempuan di lini terbawah juga menawarkan kemudahan untuk pengorganisasian, seperti ketika pembekalan ketrampilan dan pengontrolan kegiatan yang sedang dijalankan.

Hal lain yaitu kedekatan antara pesantren dengan perempuan sekitar tidak yang bisa dimiliki oleh lembaga lain. Hubungan ini bisa menjadi guarantee kerjasama yang berlandaskan kepercayaan yang kuat. Sebagai ilustrasi, bila lembaga donator mengucurkan pinjaman modal bagi perempuan untuk membangun bisnisnya, dapat dipastikan pinjaman tersebut tidak akan macet. Power pesantren dan juga charisma leader pesantren menjadi dorongan kuat bagi perempuan sekitar pesantren untuk mematuhi persyaratan yang ada.

Keunggulan pesantren dalam penguatan perekonomian perempuan ini masih diikuti pula oleh berbagai masalah. Persoalan tersebut antara lain yakni pesantren yang punya orientasi gender equality sedikit sekali, hingga mereka tidak pernah berpikir untuk berusaha memberdayakan ekonomi perempuan dengan kekuatan dan modal yang mereka miliki. Disamping itu praktik-praktik tidak fair juga sering mewarnai cerita berjalannya kredit-kredit yang disalurkan lewat pesantren.

Belum banyaknya lembaga donator yang merasa penting meletakkan pesantren sebagai mitra dalam usaha pengentasan perempuan dari kemiskinan, juga menjadi persoalan. Belum lagi masih sedikitnya lembaga donator yang memiliki perspective sadar gender.
Dengan mencermati kelebihan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki pesantren dalam wacana penguatan ekonomi perempuan, tentu ini menjadi pekerjaan rumah bagi stakeholder yang bergiat dalam bidang ini. Bergandeng tangan dengan banyak pihak adalah jalan terbaik untuk mewujudkan perempuan yang mandiri dan kuat.

Published in Jawa Pos, Oct 2006

Hinduism and Menstrual Taboos

2008-02-04T15:47:00.000-08:00

Menstruation is a complex phenomenon not a simple thing in women’s life since it is related to many areas such as biology, psychology, society, and religion. Menstruation is also surrounded by many myths, while menstruation is an indication that a woman’s reproduction system is healthy, in religious doctrines, it is interpreted differently.

Menstruation receives attention in society because it is linked to blood. Blood in society is often associated emotionally with death, homicide, and kinship (Grahn, 1993, p. xvii). Blood is often also assumed to be unclean. According to Mary Douglas (1966), uncleanness for primitive people is connected to sacredness. Due to this, menstrual blood is seen as a curse. This perception regarding menstruation brings out the taboos of menstruation. Lynn Holden (2001) explained that the term “taboos” was commonly used in Polynesian and Melanesian languages. In these languages, the essential meaning of taboo is “off limits,” but each culture has its own perspective of what it is “off limit” (Holden, 2001, p. 5).

According to Nasaruddin Umar (1995), in the past, Jewish men kept away from Jewish women during their menstruation cycle since menstruating women were considered unclean and could bring disaster to those they came into contact with. Therefore, menstrual huts were created for seclusion during the bleeding period (Grahn, 1993, p. 16). Later instead of the huts, women wore hoods or veils in order to protect people from their evil eye (Grahn, 1993, p. 74). The tradition of wearing veil a further developed other traditions such as eye shadow, necklace, earrings, and cosmetic. These menstrual customs served the purpose of warning others that women were menstruating, and they were to be avoided (Grahn, 1993, p. 75).

Misleading interpretation on the Koran verses by some Islamic scholars occurred in the classical period. The Koran, only stipulates one prohibition for menstruating women, which is abstinent from sexual activity. However many male Koran interpreters extended this concept to state that menstruating women had to stay away from their male family members. Some Islamic male scholars state that the hadits (Prophet Muhammad’s utterance and deed), prohibit menstruating women from touching and reading the Koran, and entering a mosque (Wafiroh, 2004, p. 177). However, the fact that all hadits need to be interpreted together and not independently, some of the hadits regarding menstrual taboos are weak (Wafiroh, 2004, p 178-200).

Aristotle argued that the bestower of the soul of the embryo is the man because the soul comes from men. Blood from menstruation only provides nutrition for the embryo, thus women were seen as having blemishes (Anees, 1992, p. 78).

Menstrual taboos also exist in Hinduism. The U.S. International Religious Freedom Department (2006) reports that the current population of Hindus in the world is about 14 percent (Wikipedia, 2006). Hinduism is one of the earliest religions in the world, traced back till 1500 BCE. Hinduism does not have a founder nor a single sacred text, but there are many texts that include its revelation (Anderson, 2004, p. 1). The Vedas is the most basic text in Hinduism, containing hymns and prayers which are recited during rituals (Young (ed.), 1993, p. 265).

The patriarchal culture in Hindu society still prevails, with continuing discrimination against menstruating women. During the menstruation period, women are considered to belong to the lowest caste, Sudra (untouchable), thus prohibited from worshiping (Denton, 2004). Menstrual taboos in Hinduism affect women in many ways, varying according to caste.

This paper discusses the practice of menstrual taboos in Hinduism, with examples from experiences of Hindu women in Nepal, India and Indonesia. These countries, according to US State Department’s International Religious Freedom Report (2006) have the three largest Hindu populations in the world. The menstrual taboos that will be discussed focus on the 20th century, focusing on the Brahmana, Ksatria and Sudra castes. This paper will analyze menstrual taboos in Hinduism from a feminist perspective.

The Practice of Menstrual Taboos in Hinduism

Menstruation cannot be separated from taboo. Tapua, the root of the word “taboo” in Polynesian has two meanings, sacred and menstruation (Grahn, 1993, p. 5). Grahn states, “Besides sacred, taboo also means forbidden, valuable, wonderful, magic, terrible, frightening, and immutable law” (p. 5). Taboo sometimes has the same meaning as law (Holden, 2001, p.4). However, taboo does not result in formal punishment if it is broken. It differs from a law in that there is no certain penalty. People believe that a taboo must be followed; otherwise it will result in harm, not only for the person who breaks the taboo, but also for the community. According to belief, breaking a taboo also affects the environment. For example, in some areas, menstruating women are prohibited from stepping out of the house or walking in a field because if it is done, the field will not be fruitful (Grahn, 1993, p. 35).

On one hand, menstrual blood is seen as polluting and dirty (Puri & Kapoor, 2006), while on the other it is seen as powerful Grahn (1993). Menstruation taboos serve many functions and according to Lynn Holden (2001), keeping the prevailing status quo of inequality is the essence of the taboo’s function. Religion has been used to maintain this status quo (Holden, 2001, p. 6-7).

The law of Manu states that a Brahman, while eating, should not look at a menstruating woman (Meyer, 2005, p. 127). The Vŗddhahārt-smŗti states that a wife had to be burned alive if on her husband’s death, she was menstruating (Meyer, 2005, p. 127).

In Tamil Nadu and Kerala in southern India, menstruation is one of ananku. Dianne E Jenett (2005) explains Ananku as “ is a word used to describe the powers associated with women’s sexuality and women’s blood which were consistent with, and equivalent to, the divine power in gods, goddesses, forces of nature, animals, warriors and kings” (p. 177). One goddess (Shakta) in Kerala, is associated with menstruation. The physical earth and menstruation are parts of the goddess’s body (Janett, 2005). Menstruation can open shakti, which Jenett (2005) explains as the, “surfeit of a capacity or ability to do something” (p. 183). According to Jenett that was cited from Grahn,

The onset of menstruation brings to a woman’s body an openness to shakti, life energy that is comprehended as intentional (therefore deity), and perhaps earlier named as ananku, powerful allure in vulva and breast that can also be harmful if it is not controlled. This power when contained creates an orderly, functional, and joyous world; or when it is out of control it can be burn the house down (p. 184).
In Kerala not all the power of shakti can be accepted, thus the unwanted power of shakti has to be controlled. Indeed, menstruating women must also be under control, and menstrual taboos are the way of keeping the shakti.

Serenity Young (1993) in An Anthology of Sacred Texts by and about Women asserted that since Hindu women during menstruation might pollute others who come into contact with them, they had to wear only one garment. There is a text in Taittiriyasamhita regarding women’s menstrual periods that states “Therefore, one should not converse with (a woman) with stained garments, nor should one sit with her or eat her food when she has emitted the color of Brahmahatya” (Smith, 1991, p.23). The Taittiriyasamhita tells the story of Indra. He killed Visvarupa who was a Brahmin (brahmahatya). As a result, Indra had a stain of murdering, and one third of the stain was conveyed to women (Smith, 1991, p. 23).

A Nepalese interviewee, Mandira Neupane, belonging to the Brahmana caste, said that she had to live with her grandmother during her first menstruation until a few days after menstruation. From her grandmother, she was taught that she could not touch her male relatives for about thirteen days. After marriage, she has to sleep separately from her husband during menstruation, and cannot touch him. Her female relatives explained the reasons why menstruating women needed to have no contact with males. She said, “I have to do that because I am unclean, I might be polluting them if I touch them.” Based on the doctrine from her family, Neupane believes that a menstruating woman is unclean and polluting.

Like Neupane, Shilpa Nagar who belongs to the Brahmana caste was not able to touch anything or anyone, particularly male relatives during the first three days of menstruation. However Nagar did not have to live separately from her family. Neha Chaturvedi who belongs to the Brahmana caste and Mamta Panwar, who belongs to the on Ksatria caste, believe that food goes bad if a menstruating woman touches it. It means that the power of a menstruating woman is considered strong enough to spoil the food. Otherwise, my interviewees from Indonesia, Dewa Ayu Eka Agustini who belongs to the Ksatria caste and Putu Sutiyati from the Sudra caste, are unaware of these taboos.

To protect others from perceived contamination, Hindu menstruating women have to use separate utensils for eating and drinking. They must also wash their clothing themselves. Chaturvedi, Nagar and Neupane state that their families have been practicing this taboo.

Cooking was prohibited for almost all Hindu women in India and Nepal during menstruation. However, Panwar, from Ksatria caste in India, did not refer to this taboo. Like Panwar, Agustini and Sutiyati can also cook during menstruation. According to Chaturvedi, after washing her head on the third day, a menstruating woman can enter the kitchen and start cooking. Regarding prohibition on cooking, Chaturvedi puts forward an argument based on her analysis. She said,

These menstrual taboos have their roots in hygiene. I was told that in older times, women did not have sanitary napkins and used a cotton cloth which they would use again and again. Thus, they were not allowed to enter the kitchen because they were not considered clean and hygienic enough to cook for the other members of the family. Nowadays, in some families, as in Panwar’s family, this taboo still exists though recently women do not worry about hygiene. Thus, hygiene is not the only reason surrounding this taboo but rather, it is maintained to keep an unequal status quo between men and women.

Neupane said that during seclusion at her grandmother’s house, she was not allowed to go outside during the day. Chaturvedi also had to follow the same taboo. Neupane followed this rule although she did not know what the connection between menstruation and sunlight was. She believes that the elder generation was knowledgeable on the appropriate behavior for menstruating women.

Chaturvedi, was not allowed to serve herself water when menstruating. If she needed water, she had to ask somebody to get it for her. Chaturvedi and Neupane had to sleep on a bare bed without any mattress or bed sheet. This is parallel to what is written in the book of Vyāsa. In this book, menstruating women only can lie on the ground, eat once at night, and they are not able to speak or move (Meyer, 2005, p. 127). Grahn (1993) also argued, “Menstrual seclusion rites as recorded over the last few centuries typically include three basic taboos: the menstruating women must not see light, she must not touch water, and she must not touch earth” (p. 11).

There are many other taboos. According to Kapoor and Puri (2006), in some areas in India, attending to a visitor is banned for menstruating women. Some Hindu women are not permitted to wear new clothes or look at themselves in a mirror. Sutiyanti also mentioned that during menstruation she is not able to go to house of a Pedande (priest). Hindu women in rural areas face more restrictive practices than Hindu women in urban areas (Kapoor & Puri, 2006).

The main taboo for Hindu women during menstruating is that they cannot worship. All interviewees agreed that the essential taboo for menstruating women is not being able to do pooja (prayer). Agustini from Indonesia asserted that during menstruation women are considered to be in an impure state. The rational of this taboo, in Panwar’s opinion, is that menstruating women are passing out the dirty blood from their body, so they avoid going to the temple during menstruation. Agustini said, “Most women will feel guilty when they have to prepare offerings for certain ceremonial events.” Everything that is connecting with the temple is prohibited for menstruating women. Even though all interviewees are currently living in the United States, they still keep this taboo. Chaturvedi explained that after seven days of menstruation, she can wash her hair, and worship. The prohibition on worshiping in Sutiyanti’s culture is no longer than three days. According to Sutiyanti’s husband, I Nyoman Sumandhi, the number of days is unquestionable because this decision is based on the scriptures.

Breaking these taboos result in many consequences. Agustini stated that she believes that there is a sanction for not following rules when menstruating, though she never witnesses it. She expects all Balinese Hindu women to know what the restrictions are. Should a woman break a taboo, she and her family along with the community must hold a ceremony that is intended to bring purity and balance to her surroundings. Unlike Agustini, Neupane also follows these taboos because she believes in the knowledge of the older generation. Due to this, she has never tried to break these taboos, particularly in relation to temple attendance.

Although the interviewees obey these menstrual taboos, some of them think that these menstrual taboos are unwise. Nagar said, “Actually for me, I do not like to adhere to these menstrual taboos, but I do not have the power to refuse.” At the same time, Chaturvedi argues that these menstrual taboos are illogical. She describes that she feels guilty when she cannot go to the temple. Menstrual taboos have implications for Hindu women.

The Implications of Menstrual Taboos for Hindu Women

There are many menstrual taboos in Hinduism. The main taboo is that menstruating women are prohibited from attending temples. Menstruating women also cannot cook and serve themselves water. Other taboos include not being able to step outside the house. To avoid polluting, menstruating women are not able to touching anyone and anything. Sleeping on the ground also is also one of the menstrual taboos for Hindu women.

Basically, menstrual taboos are implemented to maintain inequality and preserve male dominance. Scheaf (1992) explains, “A number of techniques are used to make women back off from their own perceptions” (p. 73). Menstrual taboos, in fact, are purposed to keep women under a male system of dominance. Feeling guilty is the main stopper for women (Schaef, 1992, p. 74). When women feel guilty, they do not have power. As a result, women are under male control.

Menstrual blood is connected with the idea of pollution. According to Douglas (1966), the idea of pollution in social life has two levels. Douglas said, “At the first level, the more obvious one, we find people trying to influence one another’s behavior” (p. 3). The second level is that the articulation of social order can be viewed in terms of pollution (Douglas, 1966, p. 4). Douglas gave an example of the second level. One sex is believed to be more dangerous than the other sex (p.4). In this case, menstruating women are assumed to be a danger to others. However menstrual taboos, which are associated with pollution, are only a symbol of the present social order. In this case, the social order is still based on a patriarchal order.

Lynn Teskey Denton (2004) in her book, Female Ascetics in Hinduism, stated that menstruation is an indication that women are impure and sinful, so they have no ordinary inclination to dharma (prayer). This forbiddance has major effects for women. First, since a menstruating woman is banned to do dharma, she is associated to the lowest caste, Sudra. In Hinduism, people from the Sudra caste are not able to do dharma. This situation avoids women’s right in asceticism (Denton, 2004, p. 25). However, according to Sutiyanti, in Bali Indonesia, people from the Sudra caste are able to worship and share temples with other castes. This indicates that Hinduism in different countries results in different rules.

Second, without dharma, a menstruating woman is always dependent on others because she has to always be remained her duties. In this case, her male relatives have authority to be remainders (Denton, 2004, p.25-26). Thus, women can never be independent as they are always under the power of others. The prohibition on cooking and taking water is created so that menstruating women must always depend on others. Third, a woman in amantravat (without mantra) cannot be allowed to conduct religious duties (Denton, 2004, p. 26).

The implications of amantravat place women in a weak position. If a woman does not take part in the religious event, she is assumed to be less pious or spiritual, and not have any bargaining position in society. According to Chaturvedi, because of menstruation, women cannot become priests. She said, “Could you image a priest menstruating during worship?” Similar to Chaturvedi, some Islamic male scholars also believe that no women can became a prophet because women need to stop worshiping when they are menstruating. This perception is based on one hadits that women are less religious because they cannot worship all the time. Even though this hadits is debatable in terms of quality and originality, some Islamic male scholars often recite this hadits.

Schaef (1992) argued that there is a basic hierarchical structure in our culture: God, men, women, children, animal, and earth. God is the upper hierarchy. Men are under God, and women, children, animal, and earth are under the control of men (p. 170). One always tries to switch to the upper rank. For instance, men want to be like God, and women want to be like men (Schaef, 1992, p. 171). Because women are one rank beneath men, women are not able to avoid menstrual taboos. At the same time, men perform like God, so they want to maintain control over everything, including menstruating women.

The control of a menstruating woman goes beyond the body and also extends to the social sphere. If a menstruating woman is unable to leave the house, she will not be able to join in social activities. It is through social activities that women gain many things, such as knowledge. Thus, if a woman is less activity socially, she may lose her chance to develop her ability in society.

In short, menstrual taboos are designed to maintain a patriarchal society, keeping women subordinated. Menstrual taboos support male domination. Indeed, menstrual taboos in Hinduism have many implications for women, not only physically but also psychologically. Socially, menstrual taboos are used to eliminate the opportunity for women to take place in social activities.

Conclusion

One function of taboos is to maintain the prevailing unequal balance of power between men and women. Religion is often used to maintain this imbalance, such as in Hinduism. Menstrual taboos also symbolize a social order that women are under male control.

Menstrual taboos in Hinduism exist in castes: Brahmana, Ksatria, and Sudra. However, based on the interviews, women from upper castes are more restricted. For instance, the number of menstrual taboos for women in the Brahmana caste is more complicated than for women in the Sudra caste. The main menstrual taboo prevalent in all castes and countries is the prohibition on attending a place of worship and preparing religious rituals.

Menstrual taboos in Hinduism have implications for women. The effects of menstrual taboos are not only physical but also psychological. Due to menstrual taboos, the chances for women to be active socially are limited since menstruating women in Hinduism are not able to work outside the home during the menstrual period. Overall, menstrual taboos put women in a second position to of men.

2007-10-04T01:57:00.000-07:00

WOMEN’S REALITY IN THE DOMINANT MALE SYSTEM

2007-03-29T15:08:00.000-07:00

Anne Wilson Schaef, the author of the book Women’s Reality: an Emerging Female System in a White Male Society, explains the condition of women within a dominant white male society Schaef defines this white male system as, “the system in which we live, and in it, the power and influence are held by white males” (1992: 8). However, this system is not completely real because it is only the product of the powerful white male people. Not all white males are members of this system nor do they share in the power of dominance that most people associate with being a white male.

The dominant white males’ society is supported by four myths. The first myth is that the white male system is the only thing that exists (Schaef. 1992:14). It implies that the others are nothing and have little value on influence within society. Because of this myth, everything should be seen as the white male system sees it. If females, for example, are doing something that is not same as the white male system’s perception, they will be considered crazy, stupid, and ugly (Schaef 1992:14).

The second myth is that the white male system is innately superior (Schaef 1992:15). In the white male system, everybody is born either male or female and innate in that is a value in the larger culture. The white male system believes that innate superiority is the birthright of males and, thus, to be born female is to be born second-class. Thus, females who play their roles are inferior, and females who subvert their roles in the white male system are characterized as “bitches” or otherwise devalued (Schaef 1992:16).

The third myth is that the white male system knows and understands everything (Schaef 1992:16). Because the white male system claims to know everything, it thinks that it can have power over everything, including females. Consequently, everything in the white female system should be in the white male system’s control, since other systems outside the white male system are seen as inferior for not knowing and understanding anything.

The fourth myth is that the white male system is totally logical, rational, and objective (Schaef 1992:17). The effect of these myths is that the members of this system never want to hear opinions from others because others are illogical, irrational, and subjective. Females also cannot decide anything since in the white male system’s myth, females are irrational, illogical, and subjective. Thus, all of women’s decisions must be based on the white male system. From myth to reality, the system of the white male has many parts.

Females are influenced by the white male system, which affects women entire lives. Much of women’s lives depends on what the white male system constructs for them. Because females are controlled by the white male system, everything has to be in accordance with what the white male system prescribes as the role of the female. The white male system uses many techniques to dominate and control females.
Schaef (1992: 73) described what she called stoppers, a number of techniques used to keep women under control of the white male system. Stoppers appear in many various forms like rape, battering, and some other physical violence. Others seem to be more subtle ways, for instance, offensively telling to women they are not rational, sick, bad, crazy, and stupid (1992:73). When women’s opinion is not able to be accepted, they will feel that there is something wrong with them, and their confidence is gone. As a result, women are going to agree with what the white male system says because they do not want to be accused of being crazy, stupid, and ugly (Schaef. 1992: 74). Many women do not realize that stoppers are mere methods to make them back off from their perceptions, and return to the white male system’s ways. Women fear that stoppers are accurate, and they are stopped by them.

Actually, the male system of dominance described by Schaef has broader implication than just white male societies. Patriarchy occurs not only among white people but also among people of color, such as in Indonesia. Indonesia is a country that still keeps patriarchal culture and traditions, so Indonesian males dominate the economic, social and political systems in Indonesia. In this paper, I compare the dominant male systems in white cultures and the dominant male system of Indonesia, explaining the implications for women worldwide, and particularly examining Indonesian women.

THE CONCEPT OF MARRIAGE

According to Schaef, a goal in women’s lives is to achieve perfect marriage. Almost every woman wants to live together with her “soul mate.” Women feel that happiness can be achieved if they can pour their love for somebody they truly loved (1992:64). Therefore, women will sacrifice anything to achieve the perfect marriage.

In the white male system, the perfect marriage has two parts: public and private (Schaef 1992:64). The public perfect marriage is the relationship between a woman and a man in the public sphere or outside house. In this sphere, the man acts as the women’s parent while the woman is like the child who has to follow what the man says, whether she agrees or not (Schaef 1992:65). For example, when the couple goes to a family gathering, the woman cannot contradict what the man says, because in this area, the woman is the man’s child. If the woman does not follow this rule, the public perfect marriage will break.

Another aspect of the perfect marriage is the private perfect marriage. Unlike the public perfect marriage, in the private perfect marriage or behind closed doors, the woman is the parent of a man. Everything should be in her control (Schaef 1992:66).Which clothes the man is going to wear is arranged by the woman, for instance. If in this case, the man breaks the rule and helps his wife to prepare his clothes or takes some other household responsibility away from the woman, the private perfect marriage is shattered.

Marriage is also a main goal for Indonesian women. Indonesian males, in this male dominated system, believe that women are something to be bought or sold, and marriage and the price paid is an indication of the value of a women. From this, we can understand that in Indonesian women’s perception, widow is more valuable than somebody who has not married yet, because being a widow indicates that the woman has already accomplished her goal. It means that the woman has been validated by marriage. Thus, Indonesian women will sacrifice anything, such as education and career so that they can have a marriage.

Several weeks ago, for example, my girlfriend told me that she received a scholarship to continue her study abroad. I knew that studying abroad was her dream since she became my classmate as an undergraduate. On the other hand, she already planned to marry this year. Although she is still wishful about her scholarship, she decided to resign it and get married instead. In her opinion, she won’t become anything if she does not marry.

The concept of marriage also influences most parents’ thinking in Indonesia. In their opinion, marriage is more important for their daughters than education. Therefore, it is a common situation that many teenage girls drop out from senior high schools for marriage. Dramatically, in many traditional areas, to make sure that their daughters will marry, most parents arrange marriages for their daughters. My cousin told me that her parents already arranged her marriage when she was still in her mother’s womb. Then, she got married after she graduated from her junior high school.

As in the white male system, the dominant male system in Indonesia believes the two faces of the perfect marriage, public and private. To illustrate, in private areas, everything is held by a woman, so when the man helps his wife to decide on everything that the women must do, in people’s perception, the private perfect marriage is failing. For instance, my male neighbor was surprised when he visited my house, and he found that my husband prepared dinner for us. He thought that there was something wrong with my household because in private area, the man is the child of a woman. On the other hand, in the public perfect marriage, the man controls everything. If a household does not apply this rule, it means that a household is not a perfect marriage. I could understand when the teller in bank had difficulty accepting that my husband opened an account in the bank with my name because in people’s perception, only a man can deal with money, so the teller thought that my marriage was not a perfect marriage.

From that information, we can figure out that the reality of marriage in the male dominated system of the United States and in the Indonesian dominant system is same. In my opinion, the concept of marriage puts women in a subordinate position. Since the male dominant system says that the value of a woman is her life in the home and subordination to her husband in marriage, women tend to focus on this goal and forsake opportunities to develop themselves. Even though, the private perfect married women are parents of men in the home, they still serve men and do so by publicly subordinating themselves. As house workers, women have to prepare everything for their husbands. In this case men are bosses, and women are the unpaid laborers that make their for profit labor possible. The public perfect marriage also ties women economically to the success of their men in the public sphere. Women cannot decide anything because in this area women are subservient to their husbands.

THE CONCEPT OF MOTHERHOOD

Schaef explained that in the dominant white male system, to be a valid human being, women have to have children (1992: 86). If women cannot give birth, they do not have value. Women are not able to choose whether they will or won’t have children. In this case, they lose their basic right to choose to conceive and raise a child or not.

The concept of motherhood also influences the relationships between mother and children. Schaef remarked there are four basic levels of mothers relating to sons and daughters. The first is the innate condition. For sons, mothers teach that superiority is part of the male birthright (1992:84). Unlike with sons, mothers tells their daughters that they are inferior (1992:86). The second basic level is the class issue. Mothers give different treatment to sons and daughters. In the class issue, mothers instill in sons that they have power to control and oppress others. In this case, mothers are in positions of inferiority. Although the mother has given birth to her son, she also will be under his control because her son is a member of the male dominant system (1992:85). However for her daughter, the mother teaches differently. Schaef said, “The second level is extremely important and has to do with the fact that women recognize one another as members of the same oppressed class” (1992:87). Mother is going to share her suffering condition with her daughter.

Ambition is the third basic level of relationship between mother and children. Because mother wants her son to be a powerful man, she pushes her son to explore everything. On the other hand, mother realizes that she cannot accompany her son since this opportunity is only available for men (Schaef 1992:85). For daughters, mother is ambiguous. Mother wishes that her daughter becomes an educated person, and that her daughter will have better life than she has. However, mother also says that her daughter has to follow the culture as she has already done by getting married, having children, and being a house worker (Schaef. 1992: 89). This condition, of course, will tie daughters and make it difficult for them to develop themselves.
The last basic level is the power to validate, or as Schaef called it the “I hate your guts” (1992: 86). In this level, women must bear children as the way for them to be valid human beings. In addition, having a boy is more valuable than having a girl, so women always want to have a boy. This condition affects the relationship between mothers and sons. Although mother loves her children so much, she hates her children’s guts, because of their power over her, and because of fact that they can validate of her existence. Schaef said, “We love our children, but we hate what they stand for” (1992: 86). Even though having a girl is better than none, a girl, in the dominant system, is not the offspring that is hoped. Therefore, mother hates her daughter’s gut because her gut cannot help mother to uphold her existence in the culture. “Yet she resents the fact that another being has the power to validate her-especially if that being is not only tiny but innately inferior,” Schaef wrote in her book (1992: 89).

As in the dominant white male system, in the dominant Indonesian system, we have the concept of motherhood too. In the Indonesian system of male dominance, women have to have children. The result is that women attempt to do anything to become mothers. Indeed, it has been taught since females are young as a rite of passage and a fulfillment of duty. A woman who obeys her husband’s commandment and always serves her children is cited to be the standard by which successful woman are measured. This, however, is not without its problems.

The concept of motherhood in the Indonesian male dominant system affected me personally. After graduating from a senior high school, I wanted to apply for a bachelor’s degree. However, at the time, my father gave me a stipulation. If I was going to continue my study, I had to marry. As other parents, my parents also thought that I could study after I have a child. The concept of mother had influenced my parents’ opinion. They wanted me to fill the role of the ideal successful women and were doing their best to help me. Actually, my mother wishes that I could get better life by continuing my study; on the other hand, my mother supported me getting married. However, my parents were thinking within a male dominated social paradigm.

I remember one day I accompanied my girlfriend who gave birth to a beautiful daughter. Although she and her daughter were healthy, her husband was still disappointed because his wife did not give him a boy. In another case, when my first child – a boy- was born, I received a different comment. Actually, everybody gave me congratulations. My female neighbor also said, “If you have a boy in your first born, you won’t get much pain if your second born is a girl. Giving birth for a boy is more difficult and painful than for a girl.” From this, I can understand that in the Indonesian dominant system, having a boy is more valuable.

Being a perfect mother in Indonesia is another major concept of “mother.” The dominant system indoctrinates woman that they are to always be present for their kids. Therefore, a good mother is a woman who pours her life to serve her kids. It means that all of the mothers’ activities must be around their children, and they must forget their dreams so they can always accompany their kids. A man wants a wife who can stay in the whole day with his kids, while he is out on the town with his friends or working.

My friend dubs me “an insurgent mother.” Usually the name “insurgent” is given to children who disregard to their duty to their parents. However, she thinks that I am an insurgent mother because I decided to continue my study in Hawaii and left my sons in Indonesia. In her opinion, I denied my responsibility to my sons and abandoned my culture. This opinion lives not only in my friend’s mind but also in almost all Indonesian people’s minds due to culturally defined roles and expectations. One of my male friends said that I am an egoist mother because I left my sons without thinking about consequences to them. Moreover, he mentioned that he would not marry a woman like me, who only think about herself, and does not care for her kids.

To be honest, the first time I heard that I felt guilty and I agreed with him that I am not a good mother. At the time, I thought I already made a mistake with my decision to continue my studies. Even though I believed that my sons are living in a good place with their grandparents, and I knew that developing myself is the same as developing my family, I felt I could not provide for my sons well enough. Guilt almost became a stopper for my future.

Indonesian males want their wives to be good mothers for two good reasons. First, they are afraid that if their wives either continue their education or participate in outside activities, they will become more intelligent, and Indonesian males will lose their control of their wives. An educated wife can become a threat to their husband’s authority. To illustrate, when a man has an educated wife, it is difficult to arrange everything as he wants because an educated wife usually is more opinionated and may have a better idea than her husband. Second, the concept of the “good mother” keeps women in their position, as Indonesian males want women to be. If women are not in the category of good mother, they will feel guilt and cultural shaming. Because of that, many are women left behind in the home.

From that information, we can see that the concept of motherhood in the dominant white male system and in the Indonesian dominant system is not different. Having children in both dominant systems is the existence of women. In this case, women do not have choice because in both of the dominant systems, women have to have children. The existence and value of women is much influenced by whether they have children or not. In the dominant system, the existence of women is validated after they have a boy. In addition, the relationship between mother and daughter also has two faces. Mother pushes her daughter to achieve a good life, but at the same time, mother asks her daughter to follow the culture as mother did. In the dominant Indonesian system, to be a good mother has also become a stopper for women because women are tied to

CONCLUSION

Men prosper from dominant male systems both in white society and in Indonesia. In fact, the concept of marriage in both male dominated systems is the same, and the implication of the concept of marriage puts women in the inferior place. Women are always pushed to focus their main goal in life on achieving the “perfect” marriage, so they do not have opportunity to achieve career or political success. In “perfect” marriages, women are publically subservient to their children and their husbands. Women cannot develop themselves because this concept goes against the socially prescribed roles of what it means to be a good woman. Thus, whatever the color of women is and wherever women live, they are to treated as inferiors and merely the biological carriers of males who will continue to dominate society. In addition, men support their own dominance and continue to perpetuate cultural myths that validate the disparity of power in

POLYGAMY

2007-02-27T14:03:00.000-08:00

“Why should I call grand mother of my mother for two women?” the question always came out from my mind when I was a kid. At the time, my mother had explained that her father had two wives, which we call polygamy. The word “polygamy” has its root in Greek. According to encyclopedia Wikipedia, historically, it may have two meanings that are both polygyny (one man having more than one wife), and polyandry (one women having more than one husband). Nevertheless, the term polygamy is commonly used to refer to one man having more than one wife. In fact, it exits as a custom in the community or society instead of people irrelevant of countries, religions, and cultures around the world. Although it is not a new phenomenon, recently polygamy has been getting much attention, and even it is being dispute. For example, Indonesian government has already created a draft of law to arrange rules regarding polygamy. Indeed. Some people in Utah, United States, which under religion reason have done a demonstration to force legalization on polygamy.

Although, I have already known the reality of polygamy, until now I still have difficulty to accept the concept of polygamy to be a reality. For me, I cannot figure out how one husband can live with many wives. In my opinion, polygamy is a kind of the psychological violence against women. Besides, polygamy bears much bad effects to children of polygamist family. Could you image, if one father has many children from many wives? Of course, he is not able to taking care of them.
There are many reasons of people supporting polygamy. One of the reasons is following Prophet Muhammad’s tradition. For Moslem, Muhammad is a perfect figure, and every single Moslem has to behave as Muhammad had done. In fact, Muhammad was a polygamist, so many Moslems argue that they are polygamists because they want to be good Muhammad’s followers.

Actually, Muhammad was being a polygamist only to help widows. At the time, many Moslem troops died in the war, so their wives became widows, and many children did not have father. Because of this reason, Muhammad married them. In fact, only one of Muhammad’s wives was still young, and the others were old widows. It means that Muhammad gave good principles of it. The first principle is that polygamy has to be used to helping widows and orphans. Second, sexuality could not be used to support polygamy. However, in reality, nowadays men married a second wife who is younger than a first wife is, and she is not a widow. Thus, by pretending to follow Muhammad’s tradition, they can hide the sexuality that is they central motivation.

Another reason of supporting polygamy is the condition of women population. In fact, the population of women is higher than men. In polygamists’ opinion, they should help to balance the population of women and men with practicing polygamy. Evidently, as Indonesia, only above thirty years old, the population of women is higher, and below thirty years old, the population of both women and men is same. Thus, if the population is to be a reason, men should marry with a woman who is above thirty year old. However, commonly a man is practicing polygamy with a young woman. Unquestionably, using population to be a reason to support polygamy is only to hide the main reason that is sexuality.

Finally, although a number of polygamists always use many reasons to support them such as following Muhammad’s tradition, and the population of women, sexuality is the main reason of polygamy.

My Angels

2007-01-31T22:04:00.000-08:00

My little angels, I do not know what I should say.
I just want to tell you that MAMA really misses you.

I miss many moments with you. When mama departed to Hawaii, you still could speak "Mama and Babah", but now you know sing, and you can communicate with others. Oh my God, in your special moments I can not accompany you.

Although I cannot touch you
I cannot kiss you
I cannot accompany you to sing
I cannot teach you
I cannot give you as you want

I am still in here
I am still your Mom

Come on Baby
Let look world with mama
Let look your future with smile

I love you
God will guide your steps

I am always beside you with my pray.

Welcome Spring Semester

2007-01-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

WELCOME SPRING SEMESTER
WELCOME MY ACTIVITIES

I know tomorrow will be different cause tomorrow I'll start my classes in UH. I'll be busy. It is not easy for me, I should adapt with my regular classes, but I cannot give up.

I remember when I was to be listener in regular class; I could not talk anything since I was nervous. Almost of my classmates were native, so they spoke fluent, and sometimes I did not understand what they were talking about. To be honest, it made me unconfident. With Look at this experience, I hope I can survive and follow my classes in the future.

God, Help me please

HAPPY

2006-12-30T22:16:00.001-08:00

HAPPY IED-ADHA
IED MUBAROK

AND

HAPPY NEW YEAR

GOOD BLESS YOU

What is wrong with Obama?

2006-12-19T23:18:00.000-08:00

Do you know Barach Hussein Obama? He is going to be a new senator in US from Illinois. So, what is special about him? Actually, nothing special about him is if he is not a Moslem. Therefore, everything will go special because he is only one senator who is a Moslem.

Obama was born in racial level. His father was from Kenya, and his mother was a white American. He spent part of his youth in Indonesia before returning to Hawaii where he was born.

To be honest, I did not really understand about his problem and senator, I only heard that US senators are still debating about him. Basically, the debate is coming out from two causes. First, his name looks like Osama whom is the first terrorist target that is sought by US. The second reason is in US senator if somebody will be raised to be a senator; he or she has to take his/her oath under holy book. Due to this, it means that Koran will be come in US senator building.

Evidently, Obama is a great politician. He already did great jobs when he was in Illinois statehouse. According to Rose Brooks’s article in The Honolulu Advertiser, Obama is a good leader. Thus, why is not Obama to be a US senator?

In this case, I believe that US is still racial country not only in religion but also in race. In my opinion, I know that US culture basics on Bible. However, we cannot generally assume that the US government is Christian owner. Undoubted, US residents are not only Christians but also from many religions. Although Christians are the biggest population in US, but it does not mean that government can pressure their residents to be Christen followers.

Like black Americans, Moslems are also seen to be second level. I listened, for instance, to the radio two weeks ago. A Moslem woman who wears veil was required to take off her veil by her boss because her boss was not comfortable talking with her without looking at her face. Of course, we could not support her boss because wearing veil is her deal with God not with her boss. Moreover, everybody should respect with her decision.

This condition extremely is different from US jargon “Democracy country.” Democracy means that everybody is given good respect, and the government offers his or her rights. So, what is democracy for US government? I think US government should commit with their principle to keep democracy.

In Obama case, in my eyes, US should decide which one the best thing for them either allow Koran coming in senator building or no Holy Books anymore in senator building.

PS: This is not a great writing. It is only about my nervousness. In addition, I just want to pour my thinking in writing.

Alhamdulillah

2006-12-02T11:23:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I had taken ELI placement test. The English Language Institute (ELI) is a part of the internationally renowned Department of Second Language Studies at the University of Hawaii. The primary purpose of the ELI is to provide English instruction for international and immigrant students who have been admitted to the university and who do not speak English as a native language, in order to facilitate their academic studies. Thus, ELI is only for unclassified UH students.

I took ELI placement test because from this test, I could know my ability, and the result of ELI test could be used to assume how many score in TOEFL. Since if I take Toefl, the result will be released four weeks after test, on the other hand, I should submit my application as soon as possible. Unlike toefl, ELI result could be known a few minutes after test.

Kim Small who is my scholarship coordinator told me that if my score in ELI is similar to a high score in Toefl (same as required from my major), I could be used ELI score to apply in my major. This test is a big deal for me because I did not have big expectation from iBT. In fact, iBT is more complicated than ELI is.

I only have three days to prepare ELI test after Kim Small told me on last Tuesday. To be honest, I was not ready to face this test, but I did not have choice, so I should take it.

ELI test has three section that are writing, listening and reading. In writing, we are given 45 minutes to complete one essay, and the topic of essay we could choose one of two topics, which are talking about global issues and a political change. Besides, I chose global issues especially women problems. Then, in the listening, we should do two parts. First thing is dictation, and second is academic listening with long conversation. The last is reading. Like listening, reading has two parts. In the first time, I should answer gab-filling, than reading comprehension test.

After I done all of sections, I only needed ten minutes to accept my result. Swear when I was seating in front of ELI director (Kenton), I am nervous. He appeared smile, but I didn’t want to guess what the meaning from his smile was because I know that American's characters always keep smile whatever they will say bad or good news. Finally, he said, “Nihayatul, I bring good news for you." Of course, I asked him soon, "What is it?” With smile he said, "Your score can be used to apply in UH." ALHAMDULILLAH. Finally, I got it.

Although I can follow my class in spring semester, it is not the end of the war. The real war is when I study in class, so for me, it is the first step to entry in more difficult situation. Readings, homework, and many other assignments have ready in my future days.

Bismillah. I hope I can surmount anything will come.

Thank for your support friends. I love you

My Motivation

2006-11-28T23:22:00.000-08:00

Motivation, for me, is a big deal because from it I can keep my spirit. For example, my motivation is to study abroad, and to achieve that I should learn English.

Frankly, 70 % of my motivation comes from myself, and only 30 % from my family and my friends. To illustrate, last week, when I knew that my score was still not high enough to apply at UH, my family and my friends were crying for me since I might have to go home. However I am still struggling to negotiate about my funding. As a result, they give me three options. First, they gave me one opportunity to take an iBT test again on November 17. If my score is enough, I can join at UH in the spring semester. Second, if my score is still low, they will give me a chance to continue in language training, and I will take a class in the fall semester. The last option is if until fall semester my score cannot be used to apply at UH, I must bring my suitcase to Indonesia .

I know my situation is not easy, but I believe that it is too early to give up. Moreover, I always keep positive thinking that my funding chose me because I never give up.

In short, this story can give a lesson that my intrinsic motivation is more than my extrinsic motivation because I am still brave to achieve my goals.

Second Language class in HELP 2006

Krashen

2006-11-28T23:20:00.000-08:00

I do not know what I want to talk about concerning Krashen because I have bad memorize. I remember when I studied in junior school, I loved English very much, but I could never speak to English language. I only liked how I could analyze grammar. Actually, I really wanted to speak English, but I known my teacher did not know how to speak English either.

Some of my friends hated English. In their opinion, English was very difficult, I was aware about it, and I thought this problem was caused by teacher. Could you imagine, in the first time, my teacher taught 16 tenses, and he gave me homework to memorize all of the tenses. It was so bad. We only knew about 16 tenses; on the other hand, we never understood how to use them.

Basically, I agree that language is a habit, so for me Krashen’s theory is a good way to begin learning languages. In my perspective, knowing grammar is essential too. Krashen’s theories, however, are more important. Maybe, the good way is we can combine both, or we can study both together.

In short, improving English can be done with Krashen’s theories and study grammar too.

Second language class in HELP 2006

My Preferences

2006-11-28T23:19:00.001-08:00

To be honest, before I got scholarships from the Ford Foundation, I never cared about English. In fact, my GPA in the college English class was C. I did not know why I did not care. Actually, when I studied in junior school, I loved English very much. However, after that, my parents sent me to Islamic Boarding School, I never learned English there. Every day I only used Arabic language.

I love writing. Every time I have free time, I always write articles. Until now almost every month my articles have been published by a newspaper in my country. Because of this hobby, in learning English, I prefer to develop myself by writing.

I think when I write, I can get some benefit. First of all, I can improve my vocabulary. Second, in writing, I will be able to correct my grammar. I also feel I am supported to look for many ideas. Of course, to search ideas I should read a lot of books, journals, and newspapers.

Obviously, writing can push me to many good things. On the other hand, listening is also important. I am aware that my listening is poor since I only spend my time writing. Thus, I decide to divide my time not only writing but also listening.

Second language class in HELP 2006

Myths

2006-11-28T23:16:00.000-08:00

I will talk about question number one. In my opinion, kids do not need to learn second language because the important thing for kids is how to talk, it does not matter what the language is.

I remember when my son was two or three years old, my husband and I taught him Arabic language and sometimes English language too, but it was not effective because he studied in public school where either Arabic or English are never used. His friends, also, only used Indonesia and Jawa languages. Since we wanted him to learn other languages, my husband and I decided to only use one language.

Another example is when we lived in East Jawa province. Of course, we were always using Jawa Language. On the other hand, my husband did not use Jawa language well because he is a maduress, people from a different island and a different language too. My husband could only chat with my son by Indonesian language. Indeed, I thought that I wanted my son talking with his mother language since in my mother language we have diversity levels. To illustrate, chatting with elders is a different style then if we chat with those from a similar generation. In addition, in my culture giving good respect for the older generation through language is very important. Obviously, when my son entrers into school, he could speak Indonesian naturally. In short, my husband agreed to follow my opinion.

Second Language Class HELP 2006

Bismillah

2006-11-18T02:01:00.000-08:00

Finally, I've already taken iBT text for the second time. To be honest, I could not guess my score. In fact, I need a high score. However, I did not want to be pressured by it. I only keep in my mind that I have already done the best thing that I could do.

I believe God always knows what I want in my life; also, God certainly gives me good things, so I do not worry about my result.

God, I can still be smile because I know You always accompany me, and your light gives me guideline where the right way is.

Alhamdulillah

For Hilma

2006-11-16T13:32:00.000-08:00

This letter is for my sister Hilma. She wrote a perfect novel, and her novel was published by Matapena Jogjakarta. She asked me to give my opinion about her novel.

Assalamu'alaikum

Aloha

How are you doing? I hope everything is going ok. In Hawaii, despite not easy I still survive.

I am proud of you. Although I lived so far from Jogjakarta, I still read your novel. When I read yours, I felt so bad because I remember my stories, yach.. Your story looked like mine.

Frankly, your story was perfect, but I found in many passages you were writing too dramatic. For example, when the central actor (Mulan, right?) came in Banyuwangi, her boy friend pulled her hand. I thought it was too much because her boy friend was a GUS, so he won’t do a wrong thing. I mean that he was too brave. As far as my experience, a Gus, also a Neng, never do something wrong in front of his/her family such as touch other women.

Another case, when you told about her second boyfriend, you told too much, in this case, you almost forgot the central actor. To be honest, I only skim when I read about his story. I thought I didn’t need to read it.

Nevertheless, your story was perfect, you should keep writing. From writing, you can get some benefit in the future. Do you know, until now, every month I am still sending my article to Radar Banyuwangi. I am aware that Radar is not a famous newspaper, but I just want to pour in my desire because writing is one part of my bodies. If I am not writing, maybe I will collapse. To illustrate, I took two writing classes in my univ. I write too much, as a result, my other skills as listening and reading lose, so I should manage my times hehehe. In fact, writing makes my life more interesting. Thus, keep writing and never give up.

I hope I can read your novel in the future soon. Sorry, if my writing in English is still bad, I just keep trying to use English hehhehehehe.

Mahalo

Wassalam

Yacht...

2006-11-16T09:13:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel tired, and I want to give up. Studying in abroad is very hard, and everything is unpredictable.

I thought that I never have problems in my study. When I studied in the college, I could finish my study only three and half years; also I became the quickest student in my college. Moreover, my thesis in college was published by Pusat Study Wanita (PSW) IAIN Sunan Kalijaga. Thus, everything was perfect.

However, I am getting many problem in Hawaii. When I was departing to Hawaii, my TOEFL score was still low, so Fond Foundation gave me six month to improve my skill before I join in sociology department. I took three exams in here, and all of them was still not enough to registration in Sociology. I felt so bad. I think and cry a lot.

Actually, I have already negotiated with EWC and IIEF, and they were giving three option. First of all, if my score on November 17 is enough, I can become unclassified student in sociology program. Then, if my score is low, I can continue in language training and intake class in fall semester. The last thing is if until fall semester my score cannot be used to registration, I must go home.

Frankly, three options made me glad. Nevertheless, I am still worried. My exam will come up tomorrow, but I am not sure about my preparation. I just keep positive thinking.

Totally I agree with my friend. He told that we should share job with Allah. Our job is studying hard, and the result is Allah's job. It means that I should not worry because Allah will give a good thing for me, and God will make everything possible. I believe that.

Keep praying and never give up

KENAPA HARUS PESANTREN

2006-11-10T21:18:00.000-08:00

This article had already been published in Jawa Pos Newspaper on October 30, 2006

Sudah menjadi wacana yang mengglobal bila salah satu factor dari termarginalnya perempuan adalah ekonomi. Perempuan dalam tradisi patriarkhi hanya memiliki tanggung jawab sebagai housewife yang tugasnya melakukan housework dan menjadi pelayan bagi suami dan anak-anaknya.

Posisi ini tidak memberi kesempatan bagi perempuan untuk bekerja di luar. Kalaupun sekarang banyak perempuan yang kerja di luar, lebih pada factor ekonomi keluarga, bukan berlandaskan kesadaran mendalam akan usaha memberikan hak perempuan untuk berkembang.

Ketidak mampuan perempuan dalam ekonomi ini menjadikan perempuan sangat tergantung pada orang lain, hingga dia tidak mempunyai bargain kuat dalam lingkungannya. Bahkan terkadang untuk merawat alat reproduksinya yang nota bene merupakan bagian terpenting, mereka tidak bisa memutuskan sendiri, karena mereka tidak memiliki income.

Mengaca dengan hal ini, tentu usaha penguatan ekonomi perempuan menjadi hal yang tidak bisa ditawar lagi. Dengan uang yang dihasilkan sendiri, perempuan bisa memutuskan hal-hal penting menyangkut dirinya dan orang-orang terdekatnya, tidak perlu tergantung pada orang lain lagi. Namun bukan berarti hendak mengatakan kalau orang lain tidak dibutuhkan dalam kehidupan perempuan.

Yang menjadi pertanyaan selanjutnya yakni kenapa pesantren manjadi penting dalam usaha gerakan penguatan perekonomian perempuan?. Mungkin pertanyaan tersebut terlalu usang untuk diajukan kembali, tapi keusangannya tidak serta merta mereduse pentingnya untuk mendiskusikannya.

Banyak pendapat yang diungkapkan tentang pentingnya pesantren dalam hal ini. Pertama, pesantren adalah bagian esensial bagi masyarakat termasuk perempuan. Mereka selalu meletakkan pesantren sebagai panutan yang harus diikuti. Posisi pesantren ini tentu sangat menguntungkan bila digunakan sebagai upaya penyadaran akan pentingnya penguatan ekonomi bagi perempuan.

Posisi pesantren yang menempel erat dengan perempuan di lini terbawah juga menawarkan kemudahan untuk pengorganisasian, seperti ketika pembekalan ketrampilan dan pengontrolan kegiatan yang sedang dijalankan.

Hal lain yaitu kedekatan antara pesantren dengan perempuan sekitar tidak yang bisa dimiliki oleh lembaga lain. Hubungan ini bisa menjadi guarantee kerjasama yang berlandaskan kepercayaan yang kuat. Sebagai ilustrasi, bila lembaga donator mengucurkan pinjaman modal bagi perempuan untuk membangun bisnisnya, dapat dipastikan pinjaman tersebut tidak akan macet. Power pesantren dan juga charisma leader pesantren menjadi dorongan kuat bagi perempuan sekitar pesantren untuk mematuhi persyaratan yang ada.

Keunggulan pesantren dalam penguatan perekonomian perempuan ini masih diikuti pula oleh berbagai masalah. Persoalan tersebut antara lain yakni pesantren yang punya orientasi gender equality sedikit sekali, hingga mereka tidak pernah berpikir untuk berusaha memberdayakan ekonomi perempuan dengan kekuatan dan modal yang mereka miliki. Disamping itu praktik-praktik tidak fair juga sering mewarnai cerita berjalannya kredit-kredit yang disalurkan lewat pesantren.

Belum banyaknya lembaga donator yang merasa penting meletakkan pesantren sebagai mitra dalam usaha pengentasan perempuan dari kemiskinan, juga menjadi persoalan. Belum lagi masih sedikitnya lembaga donator yang memiliki perspective sadar gender.

Dengan mencermati kelebihan dan kekurangan yang dimiliki pesantren dalam wacana penguatan ekonomi perempuan, tentu ini menjadi pekerjaan rumah bagi stakeholder yang bergiat dalam bidang ini. Bergandeng tangan dengan banyak pihak adalah jalan terbaik untuk mewujudkan perempuan yang mandiri dan kuat.

Happy Idul Fitri...

2006-10-22T03:15:00.000-07:00

SELAMAT IDUL FITRI

MOHON MAAF DALAM LAHIR DAN BATHIN

ATAS SEGALA DOSA DAN KHILAF

YANG TERANTUK DAN TERSENGAJA

SEMOGA BARAKAH RAMADHAN TERUS MENYERTAI KITA DI MASA MENDATANG AMIN

No Potluck Party in Indonesia

2006-10-13T14:55:00.000-07:00

When my friend from Indonesia received on invitation to a potluck party from her friend, she was confused what potluck party was. She needed to ask someone to explore it. For her, potluck party is a new thing because in Indonesia they did not have a potluck party tradition.
In fact, Indonesia has many parties, such as kemantenan (wedding party), perpisahan (farewell party), ulang tahun (birthday party), kelahiran (birth party), kehamilan (pregnancy party), kematian (death party) so on.
In Indonesia, when somebody invites to a party, he should provide everything such as food and place. Moreover, food for party is not only to be eaten at the party place, but also given to guests to take home. Consequently, the party organizer must make a lot of food; also, spend much money.
To illustrate, to make one party the owner can use from 500 rupiah (Rp.) to Rp. 1 juta ($ 100). Indeed, amount of this money is very high because you can survive on it one whole month. Thus, only the rich persons can throw a party.
In contrast, Americans’ tradition has a good way of making a party. People invited should bring the food that they want, and the owner only provides the place, and also little food. It is a good idea since they can share everything. Therefore, the organizer does not spend much money. From this case, we know why Americans are party-happy because they do not need much money to invite people. In addition, they are able to be happy with each other.
Indonesian people should learn about it from Americans so that Indonesians can create many parties. On the other hand, they are still able to save money. In fact, many international students from many countries who live in Hawaii like potluck parties because they can eat some food from different countries. In short, a potluck party has three important things: they are simple, make people happy, and save money.

Ninik

HELP Class
Publishing a Newspaper

Sexual Abuse against Women

2006-10-13T14:53:00.000-07:00

Have you heard of sexual abuse in UH? Do you believe that sexual abuse happens in international student housing in UH? What would you do if you are a target of sexual abuse? Sometimes, we do not believe that sexual abuse can happen at campus, particularly in student housing, but this accident can occur to anyone, anywhere, and anytime.
According to the federal government’s website, sexual abuse is any type of sexual activity that you do not agree to. Indeed, sexual abuse or sometimes sexual harassment often is directed at women. Maybe not everyone knows that sexual abuse happens at UH because the victims on occasion do not want to talk about it in public. In fact, victims prefers to keep this problem with themselves. In any case, women are shy to tell with each other since they think that sexual abuse is shame, and should be held in reserve. Evidently, society always has perspective that women are cause of sexual abuse. Thus, women are worry if they will be ostracized by their society. Although the society does not know what the reason of this incident is.
I think sexual abuse transpires because of many causes. First, women always are seen to be weak persons, so women did not have chance to choice. Definitely, this condition makes women reserved. Moreover, women’s power is less than men is. Could you image if woman is grabbed from behind by man, she cannot release although she attempts to break free.
In addition, it’s my opinion that almost all men have negative sexual perspectives. For example, when men look at a beautiful girl who walks in front of them, they certainly will stare at her. On the contrary, women can control their desire. Actually, men and women have same desire, but differences are in how they express their desires. Thus, sexual abuse occurs because many people cannot manage their desires, and they think impulsively.
Another cause is laws for sexual abuse. In fact, many countries did not have laws that tell about punishment of sexual abuse. The lack of these laws allows sexual abuse to happen. If the punishment of sexual abuse is low, person committing of violence never is afraid to do it again. This rule is not only in law of government but also in norms of society. To illustrate, my point I will describe members of Dani ethnic group of Indonesia. Men in this ethnic group only use koteka (penis sheath), and women wear skirt of leaves, yet in their society sexual violence against women never occurs. It is because common rules there are very strict. Punishment is very important to prevent sexual abuse.
Finally, I believe the big cause is culture. In truth, culture influences how people view women and how they treat women. If some cultures give respect for women, people will be good and respectful toward women too; and the impression is that women never become victims of sexual abuse. Therefore, culture is influential in allowing and preventing sexual abuse against women.
Overall, sexual abuse can happen to anyone, anywhere and anytime. Indeed, sexual abuse has many causes from external factor and individual factor, such as culture, rule, and view of women. What can you do to prevent sexual abuse from happening? First of all, you should lock your room’s door. Second, you not ever trust anyone. If you are a victim of sexual abuse, you should talk with somebody who can help you.

Ninik

HELP Class
Publising a Newspaper

Gender Equality in Education

2006-10-13T14:51:00.000-07:00

Gender equality particularly in education is still considered as a problem in Indonesia. Adam Kamguian at a seminar held by Save the Children in Stockholm on 5 October 2001 said, “Few would deny that education is one of the most important cornerstones of all human society” (“Islam”). Although education is recognized as a cornerstone of human society, many women are still denied their right to education in patriarchal societies such as Indonesia. This view is related to culture and religious doctrine. In my opinion, Indonesian women should get their right in education, such as to continue their study and decide their education in the future.
In traditional gender rules, women only have responsibility to keep house, for example, cooking, cleaning and serve their spouse, so they did not need to get good education. According to the story of interviewee, shehas two sisters and seven brothers. Indeed, she and her sisters have same condition in study. She got married at 13 years old after she graduated from elementary school. Her young sister must married to 18 years old and another sister was luckier, because she can study in high school after that, her parent sent her to learning in Islamic boarding school and she got married at 21 years old. In fact, she wants to continue her study, but her parent had vision that woman just has responsibility to keep house, so she did not need to join school. Nevertheless, all of her brothers could follow study in university and two of them graduated from Middle East (Yemen and Iraq). In contrast, women ability influences their children. Gustavo Angeles et al writes that higher ability women, for example, might be more likely to continue in school, and even in the absence of additional schooling, they would be better able to provide a safe and sanitary environment for their children, which in turn would reduce the probability of their children dying (“The Effects”). In addition, Engendering Development World Bank got result of research in 2001 of 40 countries that level of women’s education could decrease children dying (“Kesejahteraan”). Therefore, when women have high level of education, they can get more information to preserve their children. For example, if mother only graduated from elementary school, possibility that child mortality is more increase than mother graduated from high school.
Many interpreters, who is somebody has knowledge to interpretation Koran and Muhammad’s tradition, said that women have not opportunity to study. This opportunity include to deciding wherever they will study and what major of study they will join. According to a true story of interviewee, he has only one sister and five brothers; also, he is the eldest children in his family. He said that if his family had problem, his parent always asked about his opinion. For example, he and his parents discussed deciding where his sister will continue her study after graduated from elementary school, so his sister never has chance to deciding wherever she will study and what major she would join. Not only in study but also in daily his sister always is took care from her sibling and her parents. Actually, Islam keeps pluralism always, so Islam never prohibits women to not only access in education but also join with their society and Islam support it fully (“Education”). According to Princess Sarvant, “The religion is unequivocal. Islam fully encourages the education and well-being of girls, and the prophet Muhammad took every opportunity to make a favorable comment regarding the status of women (“Education”). In the other words, in Prophet Muhammad’s tradition, he always gave chance to developing in education, for not only men but also women, too. Muhammad said that searching for knowledge was the duty of every believer (“Education”).
In my opinion, all of genders have same right, especially in education. Indeed, women should have good intelligence, if they want their children becoming smart. Women have more time to accompany their children and teaching them. When women did not have capability to give good knowledge their children, of course, their children’s did not get anything from their mother. In addition, women should be aware what they want to do in the future, so they can decide what and where they will study; also, Islam always supports everybody to achieve her/his goal in the study. If many people still look at that Islam never allows women to study, it affects to traditional interpreter view. In fact, they are very exclusively to looking at Islamic doctrine and almost all of them are men. For me, every interpretation is depend on its interpreter, such as what the purpose of interpreter is, what the education background is; also political situation can influence, too. Thus, we cannot receive all of interpretation generally. Indeed, Islam never differs men and women, so all of bodies are equal. The difference between someone and each other is only in her/his adherence for God. In short, right of women should be given education.

Women in America and Indonesia

2006-10-13T14:43:00.000-07:00

“We cannot make poverty history until women enjoy their full social, cultural, economic, and political rights,” Thoraya Ahmed Obaid, Executive Director of the United Nations Population Fund, said (ABCNews). Her statement simply describes that women have many problems. In fact, UNFP is passing along the borders on country and culture. Diversity in any country can have lead to various problems faced by women. For example, women in America and Indonesia may have different and or similar problems. It is interesting to discuss it because America is a totally free country. On the contrary, Indonesia is still keeping its patriarchal tradition. This condition can influence differences and similarities on women’s conditions for both countries.
Overall, women in America and Indonesia are having similar responsibilities in the family, as it holds true with taking care of their children. To illustrate, when children are still young, their mothers would accompany wherever they go and look after for whatever necessity they have. Another example, women take charge of house chores such as cleaning, cooking, washing. Generally, keeping housework is women’s main responsibility most countries.
Conditional distinctions between women in America and Indonesia are in many cases, as in education, religion, and culture. First of all is education. Indeed, in education American women are highly literate than Indonesian women. For example, American women have the same opportunity to continue their studies as men do. Moreover, they could decide where they will study, and what major they will pursue. In comparison, Indonesian women have follow what their family chooses for them; not only on where they will study but also on what department they will apply. In fact, dichotomies between men and women in education still happen. To demonstrate, many departments are prohibited for women despite of only implicit, for example, engineering or everything that relates to the machine because it is unusual for women to have this type of work. Women should work in a clean and soft place. In this case, Indonesian men have more opportunities to go to school.
Religion gives affectation for women too. At this point, American women are weaker in keeping up with their religion. Sometimes, they do not care about religion, and in extreme, they do not believe in God. So, in ways of their life, religion is not influenced by their life. Of course, they always feel free, and never think about religious doctrine. Unlike American women, Indonesian women always view that religion is one part of their life. They are very strong to keep religious doctrine. For instance, before they do something, they always think whether it is prohibited or not in religion, so everything they will do is in consonance with the norms of religion. Consequently, they feel not free at all because religion is always in their hearts and minds.
Certainly, America with western culture differs with Indonesia that follows eastern culture. Western culture offers freedom for women to become open minded in many things. As an illustration, women in America have space to be active in public area and in society specially in politics and business. In addition, they are fully encouraged to express what they want to do. Because of this situation, American women can bargain their position in their society, and they get their rights. Meanwhile, eastern culture is more secret and strict in women. Indeed, most of Indonesian people have a view that women should always stay in home and be prohibited to work or be active in outside. To illustrate, when they spend much time working outside, they are viewed to be a bad mother, and do not have good responsibility. Another example, women in Indonesia could not consider their life because their family, particularly their father and their brother, have to decide in all of their ways of life, such as their husband candidate, their education, their plans for the future. Of course, from this case, women do not have good bargain position in their family, also, in their society.
Religion is basic of all dissimilarities and similarities among women. Definitely, religion influences not only in transcendent relationship but also with profaned relationship. As a result, every way of life is inside of religion doctrine. However, we should separate between religion doctrine and religion interpretation. Actually, core of religion doctrine is alike. The difference is only in interpretation. In fact, every interpretation depends on its interpreter, such as what the purpose of the interpreter is, what his educational background is; and political situation too. For example, the view of Islam about education and society for women, actually, Islam keeps pluralism always, so Islam never prohibits women to not only access education but also join with their society and Islam supports it fully (“Education”). According to Princess Sarvant, “The religion is unequivocal. Islam fully encourages the education and well-being of girls, and the prophet Muhammad took every opportunity to make a favorable comment regarding the status of women (“Education”). In other words, in Prophet Muhammad’s tradition, he always gave a chance to develop education not only among men but also for women too. Muhammad said that searching for knowledge was the duty of every believer (“Education”).
In conclusion, education, religion, and culture women in America and Indonesia have both similarities and dissimilarities. From this case, we can know that women in every country have problems that depend on their situation.

Ninik

NICE Program

Nih

2006-10-12T16:30:00.000-07:00

di Blog ini aku akan menulis semua hasil makalahkoe hehhee, sok pamer lageeee